Who am I.

I believed religion teach me to treat other people nicely lillahita'ala. For the sake of Allah, not for the sake of people are going to do the same to you too. Remember that story about our beloved Prophet Muhammad pbuh where his neighbor an old lady who hated him so much? She hated Rasulullah and even dump her trashes at his door once and that I believed is only one of numerous bad things she ever done to him. Then the old lady fall sick. In this case, if we had someone who gets on our nerves every now and then watching him/her at their weakest point is some sort of delight isn't it? Like "Take that madafakaa". Ok wait, maybe like "See, that is what happen when you're messing with me,old lady". Deny it as much as you want but that's us. We love to see other people get their part. But not our Prophet. When the old lady fall sick he cook for her. He made her soup and even visit her and pray so she'd get better. That's how we roll in Islam,people. 

Ethics, adat or whatever you call it, teach us to be good to others so they'd be good to us. But what happen when we are so nice to them but they throw brick back at us? What happen when you treat a person so nicely but he/she end up disregarding all your kindness like "Yo b, you ain't do nothing for me,I'm the one who do everything for me". and what happen if you treat every one of your friends with vvip treatment but you end up getting i don't know, economic class ticket? 

22 years on this planet I went through almost every situations I've mentioned above. Whenever it happens, I feel sad,hurt and disappointed. I mean, don't you? We abide the social code, we try to be mr nice all the time and we even make sacrifices but when it's your turn to receive you just sit there like a potato. You feel like you deserve better. And for some like me, we'll feel like we're not enough. Like people don't think you're good enough, you don't have that personality to make people stick around or even be fond of you and I started to think "If you help someone who's in trouble he/she will remember you, when they're in trouble again.".

I was contemplating on how to react. Should I stop being nice or should I stop to care and be selfish because at least I don't have to expect people to appreciate me? or Should I remind myself of how the Prophet handled this and remember that everything that I long for is not exactly my purpose as a muslim? 

“Katakanlah: sesungguhnya sembahyangku, ibadatku, hidupku dan matiku hanyalah untuk Allah, Tuhan semesta alam. Tiada sekutu bagiNya; dan demikian itulah yang diperintahkan kepadaku dan aku adalah orang yang pertama-tama menyerahkan diri (kepada Allah)”. (QS. Al-An’aam: 162-163).

“Barangsiapa menghendaki kehidupan sekarang (duniawi), maka Kami segerakan baginya di dunia itu apa yang kami kehendaki bagi orang yang kami kehendaki dan Kami tentukan baginya neraka jahannam; ia akan memasukinya dalam keadaan tercela dan terusir. Dan barangsiapa yang menghendaki kehidupan akhirat dan berusaha ke arah itu dengan sungguh-sungguh sedang ia adalah mukmin, maka mereka itu adalah orang-orang yang usahanya dibalasi dengan baik.” (QS. Al-Israa’: 18-19)

Because I believed being evil is easy. Being nice is a a challenge. Someone so high like Rasulullah could be nice to people who hated him and even tried to kill him, who are we? Who am I? Let's from now onward pursue sincerity lillahitaala and doesn't matter if people don't see what you're willing to do for them because Allah see. 

Hasbunallah wa ni'mal wakil :')