Here's to the people who wakes up every morning feeling afraid that you are still breathing.

No need for the 999 call, for the panic or anything,no. I'm constantly in suicidal mode but maybe not today,ay? Because I have something to share, something that when you've read it and walk pass me anywhere, just don't mention about it,pretty please. Those people who knew me, they'll probably known me for the girl who is always in agony, one bad luck after another, and completely messed up. For being this type of girl, life ain't that easy. There are often times when I feel like cutting off my veins, swallow in some pills or hang the hell out of my life.

I hate everyone, for not acting the way I play life in my mind.
I can sense that nobody actually likes me. Not even notice me. That if I die, nothing will change.
I sometimes wish to die so that I can see who actually care for me.sad.
I'm not that one friend who whenever I go,people will talk to me.
I'm always the second guessing, mistaken, made mistakes.
Life loathes me. and it's mutual.

Those who ever feel,even slightest like me, here's something for you to read, enlarge it, I don't care,just read.

We were born for a reason. Not to be the extras,never. It's all about timing,we just need to keep faith. People says, it always rain the hardest on the person who deserve the sun the most. Don't be sad that we're not that in in this fucking judgmental and selfish society, but be proud that we can survive with a smile. Even though it sometimes fake, at least it's more genuine than the heart of the others. And if you ever decided one day, that's it, this is the end of it all,think.

What about the person that has to find your body, surrounded by blood?
What about the terror and pain that they’ll have to remember for the rest of their lives?
What about them having to feel guilty for being “too late” every day of their lives?
What about them holding your body and screaming in agony as they can’t even get the strength to leave you to get a phone to call for help?
What about the depression that you’ll leave them in?
What about them having to walk away, their clothes soaked in your blood and their tears?
What about them yelling at your paralytic body “Please live! I love you! I need you! Please.”?
What about all the tears you’ll cause people that you aren’t even aware of?

What the fuck about them?

Life is so fragile, and we fight for it every day —even against our own hands.
When you kill yourself, you’re also becoming a muderer.
You’re killing pieces of the people who love you.

I have to fight this battle every second of my life, every single teardrops of mine, so who give you the right to stop? Because it's us against the world and I can't fight this battle alone. Cry,cry all your heart out,then sleeps away the pain. Listen to songs that you can relate, get inspired, make a tumblr and then let me know. I'm not saying this for a stupid promotion or something, but I swear when you get on it you're like being in another world. Where there's no judgmental cunt, and we love each other. Well, enough to let me still standing until now :)

Today, I decided to end it. and then I change my mind.

and here's to the people who wakes up every morning feeling afraid that you are still breathing.and here's to you,


Fynn.Tomorrow, wake up brave.