Am i going to finish strong?

Okay guys.here it is.

some of u maybe dah tahu. i didn't get through upu. Satu uni pun tak dapat! even UUM pon tak nak terima aku. punya lah hina.HAHA

in this case, tak tahu nak point fingers kat mana lagi dah.

I suspect my passed Uni.

messing up with my result like hell.

ow,its complicated nak explain kat korang.

sebab apa,bukan aku sorang je yang kena.fcuk!

Syahdu sungguh whenever i saw people worrying about how to print the form,which college they are in and such while the only thing i could think about is why me?why didn't i get the shot?okay,here it goes.I'm not meant to brag but seriously, with my 3.67 cgpa, i should have at least been accepted to UUM, or UKM or even UIA.DEVASTATING and PATHETIC, these two words described my condition equally. I mean, come on, if the authority made mistakes, why do you guys keep it to yourself? What are you thinking? Do i really have to remind you that it's my future you're dealing with?It's not like i'm going to sue or anything (which is the first thing that came up in my mind.),please for God sake,make things right again. I'm just asking to get in ANY universities. Because i know, i have the right and i work my ass off over this.

At one point, i just feels like giving up. Go out to town and find worth-living job cause the future seems so hard on me. I'm feeling so low that i actually think being alive is not worth it. If i can't nail my aims, what's the point of breathing?Now,it's trizillions times easier for people to say:

 be patience,Fynn ada hikmah tu,

Maybe God have a better plan for you?

I know you will get in!

It hurt whenever i hear those motivational words because i'm forcing my heart to have faith while my body is walking toward the cliff.It's not that simple to be optimistic, to believe in fate or to lie to yourself. It's just not. Things happen for reasons?BULLSHIT. Now tell me,why?I've been shedding tears for like 3 days or so,cannot accepting the fate. I have lost the faith.The whole world is coming apart.

So,i try my very hardest (the limit in which any cautious mind could ever imagine) to be strong. Then only i realized i'm nowhere near STRONG.So i watch Nick the limbless man like so many times that my eyes almost explode! I'm serious. Why can't i have the strength to get back up?Why?




So,i decided to keep on trying,again and again and again regardless of what people might think of me,what they will say to me being a failure, regardless of how many times people ask me questions like "which university are you going to?".I'm just sad.very sad.but because i know this is not the end...i will make good use of what i have left.i'm still going to work my ass off of even though everything won't work out with me. I just had to.Right this moment, i felt life is pointless,cold, alone but i need to know if i ever going to finish strong.