Mika the hedgehog!

He's cute, he's adorable, he's cuddly and I love him to death.

3 reasons to be jelly of me!

Hari ni shopping raya.tadda~

Went to Jitra Mall,Kedah.

Supposed to buy 2 pasang but end up with only 1.

Heh.the banyak songeh me. 

On my defense, semua sepesen and a bit too pricey for something that is to be worn once. 

Teehee.

I superstitiously believe that it's bad luck to reveal the whole baju,but hey!

I guess, a sneak peek wouldn't hurt?

the theme is freaking YELL-LOW this year,so don't be so hard on me.

Plus,it's freaking big in size. Anyone know a good place(in perlis) where I can fix this,please please do recommend.

And claro ce sie, my aim, my hardwork, my gaji and my newborn baby,

Hands off!Hahaha.No, seriously.

Nahhh,it's not galaxy SII, it's Ace.but it's alright though :3

I'm a happy girl now.

No longer forever alone ^^

and, cross this out from the wishlist right away!

Then I bought something else, not for raya,not for something special.Oh well, I just did.HAHA

and my mum was anxious.

"Along, you've got too many shoes already. It's time to stop this habit of yours~"

Em..no can't do.

060311.) Today,I'm a happy girl.

I got 24/7 with these chickos <3

Crossing out some few things from wishlist.

Fucking cool OWL necklace

African style sandal

Bloody gorgeous flat gladiator

Charm bracelet

Star shoe laces

2 baju kurung cotton (moreee)

Cinema

A cute,chubby brand new boyfriend for real

And, I fucking feel pretty again :)

Nahhh, I was just kidding about the last one.Scratch that.HAHA you!

Resurgam

It has been 3 days since the visit to Sekolah Henry Gurney. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. I know, some people will think that it is weird for me to have this obsession to visit this school. One of my friends even ask,

HAHA.So, the answer is yes. One of my wishlist ever since my mum told me that the school is build on island with big sharks swimming all around it. Eventhough it turns out that the actual school is not on island but in Malacca instead, that does not stop me at all. Not at all. It's just I always have a thing to 'the underdogs' and such~ Simple says, curiosity! Like, does those children eat people,kill people,rape, or does they even look like a human being? I mean, they were all kids,you know what I mean??

So, ini lah rupa sekolahnya from luar. Oh, peringatan, gambar is very limited since no cameras or anything yang boleh record tak dibenarkan bawa masuk,ye kawan-kawan. Okay, masa first nampak bangunan ni, memang teruja habis! Turun bas je, ini kerja kitorang.

Orang lain sibuk angkat barang,kitorang berangan menang hamper sebentar.LOL

Lepas dengar briefing segala, adrenaline memang dah pumping tahap apa dah. Nervous,takut, semua ada. Bila tengok tahap pencapaian akademik, I can say budak-budak situ taklah seteruk yang orang ramai selalu anggap. I mean, SPM 5A's? Budak sekolah biasa pun susah kot,nak dapat. Sukan, koko ? Okay, diorang ni semua human being juga, bukan Hanibal Lecter,no! Masih terngiang-ngiang kata-kata Inspektor tu;

"yang perempuan tolong hati-hati. Kat dalam tu ada pesalah seks..."

"jangan bagi contact number korang kalau budak-budak ni minta!"

Lepas breakfast yang super yummy, kitorang ramai-ramai gerak ke Dewan Parameswara, di mana 30 something penghuni lelaki plus 14 orang penghuni perempuan tengah menunggu. Masa tu, gementar tak perlu nak cakaplah,kan? Bila kitorang masuk je dalam dewan dari belakang, diorang terus bangun. Ada juga beberapa orang Inspektor dan pegawai penjara yang ada. Masa nak duduk dekat kerusi yang tersusun di sebelah budak budak ni, my hand memang totally menggeletar, seram sejuk semua ada. Bayangkan, semua budak lelaki, pakai kemeja dan seluar putih, kepala semuanya botak. Seram tak seram? Tapi, nak tak nak memang kena stay. Siapa suruh memandai sangat nak pergi,kan?

Lepas perkenalkan diri kitorang, fasi-fasi ni, aktiviti first pagi tu is senaman yang agak kelakar lah. Mula-mula muka masing-masing memang macam tak nak buat pun. Fasi pun jauh je duduk from diorang. Tapi lama kelamaan, diorang finally macam dah open. Agak lama juga lah, since lepas buat group, cheers baru diorang nak semangat.  

Sesi : Ice breaking

Masa ni, kitorang was allowed utk pilih our own group. So, I gor grip on this 5 girls group named 'Sempoi je'. I know the name is lame,but budak-budak~

Nama saya, *****, form 4, 20 tahun. Kak Fynn umur berapa?

Dang! Masa ni sumpah nak jerit, weyyy same je umur kita,tak perlu panggil kakak!HAHAHA. Umur kirog terpaksa dirahsiakan and perlu appear years older than them. So hey, Kak Fynn is 25.NICE.

Sesi: Cita-citaku

Agak ironic dan terkejut bila dengar diorang masing-masing nak jadi polis, askar and etc. Funny, they said it's impossible sebab diorang pendek. And to that, I'm SPEECHLESS! memang diorang girls nampak macam darjah 5-6 bukan tingkatan dah! And ada this chinese girl, bila ktorg tanya nanti besar nak jadi apa?

"Saya nak jaga mak saya"

and yet AGAIN aku speechless. Why did you get in here for,anyway?!

Sesi: Jambatan besi

This is like the fun-est game ever played that day! Like seriously, memang semua gelak macam haram lagi kot! Some took it seriously. And for my group,what do you expect? Aku ajar budfak-budak ni buat jambatan paling kelakar dalam dunia!hahahha

"Kak Fynn, muka merah dah!"

Sesi senaman 'Otomen'

Senaman ni memang bapak memalukan. Sebab terpaksa,aku buat kalau tak HAHAHAAHrapan lah. Tengah encore, tetiba budak Chinese tadi datang kat aku,

"Alaaa...akak nak balik dah..."

Mau tak berkolam mata aku weh!jangan risau guys, aku terrer control macho. Time balik, ada sesi bersalam and ramai jugaklah budak-budak perempuan yang menangis. Inspektor tu cakap, ni first time lah benda macam ni jadi,so agak kembang pukoq juga kami masing-masing :)

Aku ingat lagi, sorang budak ni punya speech,

"Kami nak ucap terima kasih sangat kpd abang-abang dan kakak-kakak fasi sebab sudi buat program macam ni dan tak aggap kami macam orang jahat. Terima kasih sebab bagi kami semangat lepas keluar nanti. Dan sebab hari ni memang best!"

Okay,ayat tu memang aku karang sendiri.Bapak la nak ingat,tapi point dia adalah sikit sebanyak. Terharu kami semua,tak terkata.Terkedu. Ada seorang budak group aku ni, siap kasi aku kata-kata semangat lagi,

'Orang yang kuat bukan lah orang yang selalu menang, tetapi seorang yang bisa bangkit selepas dia jatuh' 

Simple says, kitorang melawat Henry Gurney untuk tolong mereka, ajar mereka, tunjuk mana hala tuju tapi honestly aku rasa, mereka yang banyak mengajar kami semua.

Resurgam(moto Sekolah Henry Gurney) : I WILL RISE

Henry Gurney,be nice to me.

So, right about lagi 6 hours, I'll be off to Henry Gurney. Bukan check in ye, but for a program by SCLC, a society of my faculty. It's like a visit or something, alah you guys should know. There were times when we're in school and banyak abang-abang handsome and kakak-kakak from university datang and bagi talk and some kind of motivation punya games and everything~ Ring a bell,tak?Yes, now it's my turn to be the fasi. Mannnn...I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous. Screw politeness, it's a jail for God sake! No, I'm not worry about being killed or raped or something because, logically thinking, there are guards everywhere. The things is, I really hope that they won't be staring at me thinking, "what the heck is this girl doing??". You know what I mean?I can't believe I'm saying this but hell I wish their offences doesn't change their child attitude.

Dulu,when I was a kid, I remember being told that Sekolah Henry Gurney ni is build on an island.ISOLATED. and they even have big sharks surround it. Yes, I know. Turns out the one I had in my mind is Guantanamo Bay.I was a kid,mannn! So, I always thought that it was in Penang but seems like Malacca,it is. Rumah for those girls pun dekat Melaka,right? Why is it Malacca being so nice,really?

Arghhh...I'm over 18 now, I can't go murder someone and get away anymore! T^T Hey, on second thought, badass is always on grab kan?HAHAHHA.Luckily, we all have been warned not to...how should I say this? flirt,around? Too bad ay? nevermind. Bald people is not my type,anyway.(exception to Dwane J)

I don't believe in judging people. i honestly even loathe those people yang always look down on other. This is the main reason I want to go there. I wish to tell them not to listen to unworthy human being who tend to have low standard but to deep echo in their heart. I also believe that there's good in every men hearts. Alah, you look down on people yang commit rape, as if you never have that kind of lust. You feel gross to those yang kill people as if you never feels like give a shot in the head to some others. We all have that. What makes us different is, they gone a bit astray. And remember dear fellas, there's always a way back. And now, we even have GPS,guys.

Omaigawd, I'm so excited about this that I might even write a book.LOL. Anyway guys, wish me had a great time there later so I could write pretty things to you :)

p.s. this is one of my wishlist which came true.thankyou,Lord <3

Semalam hari Fynn.

Sebab?

Finally,finally babyyy!

Domo kun!

This is my current obsession. Nak kahwin nanti pun,aku nak ni dalam list hantaran,ok!

Domo kun yang comel!memang now 24/7 aku mengendong budak ni mana mana.

Jangan sentuh,jang peluk,jangan lenyek!aku punya la!

Anyway, crossed that from the wishlist already!

and, lepas hang out @ Kuala Perlis dengan Wardah and Kirah(?), aku super duper syiokkk.

Awww...spending leftover time for semester break as wise and full as possible yaw!

AND

orang tengah dok hangat pasal kes laser indon, aku pula rasa macam nak pindah UK cepat cepat.

clap clap for the matching outfit!

I'm most definitely British!

Terima kasih untuk semalam.

Terima kasih sebab tunjuk muka kau,
comel,
aku suka.

Terima kasih sebab cakap kuat kuat,
sedap,
aku suka.

Terima kasih sebab stay situ,
aku suka,
sangat suka.

Terima kasih Tuhan,
sebab semalam.

Terima kasih untuk kebetulan.
Aku kenal dia sekarang,
*tersentuh*

Terima kasih sebab sedarkan aku,
tentang harta tak kuat mana,
tentang hati fragile gila,
tentang perasaan mungkin ada.
tentang kemungkinan.

Terima kasih bank rakyat,

untuk peluang,

mak aku suka,

aku suka.

p.s. Tuhan,tolong biar jadi dia.tolong?

Syndrome nak kahwin~

ini tak tipu,okay.

salah video ni lah!

7tahun lagi,

S A B A R ,

 Fynn!

I don't need a boyfriend,

"Stop feeling as though you need a boyfriend, because you don’t. Sure, it would be nice to have someone you can love, but every hello ends with a goodbye, and it’d be a waste to spend your teenage years crying over different boys who you probably won’t even remember properly once you’re older. You’re young. Spend your time being creative, finding yourself, laughing, exploring the world. Not worrying if you’ll be good enough to get that guy in your geography class."

I don't need a boyfriend

because i only need him <3

I'm this close of getting to know him,dont stop me!RAWR!

Notify me.

Dah,nak tutup case.

Mr ChubbChubb,i want you to be just a passing phase.

Sebab i know,you are not here to stay.

If one day, she let you slip away.

Notify Me.

I wanted to forget you.

It just hurts me as much as i'm loving it everytime i see you.

How can i not fall for you?

Boyfriend orang,memang terbaek!

Yah,aku tend to suka boyfriend orang.

Keji kah?

Aku tak pernah rampas,okayyy!

FINE!

Tak nak suka anyone anymore!

Habuk pun tarak~

Makan hati je all the time 

Tabi,stay with me,please...

OMG,i think i'm gonna cry~

I wish i could be pretty enough,

So that people will notice me,

So they won't take me for granted,

So I will be treated nicely,

So I can feel important,

So at least I know i worth something,

and so i could tell you to treat people equally.

and,and so I could make no one ever feel like me.

I will stand :')

STAND- Rascal Flatts
You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand

Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Oh

Am i going to finish strong?

Okay guys.here it is.

some of u maybe dah tahu. i didn't get through upu. Satu uni pun tak dapat! even UUM pon tak nak terima aku. punya lah hina.HAHA

in this case, tak tahu nak point fingers kat mana lagi dah.

I suspect my passed Uni.

messing up with my result like hell.

ow,its complicated nak explain kat korang.

sebab apa,bukan aku sorang je yang kena.fcuk!

Syahdu sungguh whenever i saw people worrying about how to print the form,which college they are in and such while the only thing i could think about is why me?why didn't i get the shot?okay,here it goes.I'm not meant to brag but seriously, with my 3.67 cgpa, i should have at least been accepted to UUM, or UKM or even UIA.DEVASTATING and PATHETIC, these two words described my condition equally. I mean, come on, if the authority made mistakes, why do you guys keep it to yourself? What are you thinking? Do i really have to remind you that it's my future you're dealing with?It's not like i'm going to sue or anything (which is the first thing that came up in my mind.),please for God sake,make things right again. I'm just asking to get in ANY universities. Because i know, i have the right and i work my ass off over this.

At one point, i just feels like giving up. Go out to town and find worth-living job cause the future seems so hard on me. I'm feeling so low that i actually think being alive is not worth it. If i can't nail my aims, what's the point of breathing?Now,it's trizillions times easier for people to say:

 be patience,Fynn ada hikmah tu,

Maybe God have a better plan for you?

I know you will get in!

It hurt whenever i hear those motivational words because i'm forcing my heart to have faith while my body is walking toward the cliff.It's not that simple to be optimistic, to believe in fate or to lie to yourself. It's just not. Things happen for reasons?BULLSHIT. Now tell me,why?I've been shedding tears for like 3 days or so,cannot accepting the fate. I have lost the faith.The whole world is coming apart.

So,i try my very hardest (the limit in which any cautious mind could ever imagine) to be strong. Then only i realized i'm nowhere near STRONG.So i watch Nick the limbless man like so many times that my eyes almost explode! I'm serious. Why can't i have the strength to get back up?Why?




So,i decided to keep on trying,again and again and again regardless of what people might think of me,what they will say to me being a failure, regardless of how many times people ask me questions like "which university are you going to?".I'm just sad.very sad.but because i know this is not the end...i will make good use of what i have left.i'm still going to work my ass off of even though everything won't work out with me. I just had to.Right this moment, i felt life is pointless,cold, alone but i need to know if i ever going to finish strong.

Who wrote this?!

You're LATE.

YOU belong with me!

hey,hey,you,you,i don't like your girlfriend!

no way,no way,think u need a new one!

hey,hey,you,you,i could be your girlfriend!

i don't care what others think.

WANT!

Budak pathetic ni nak final exam!

Beta,Princess NurSyafinaMunirahBtMohdNasir aka Princess Aurora dengan ini,

ingin menyusun sepuluh jari memohon ampun dan maaf jika ada terguris di hati sama ada sedar ataupun tidak, 

jika pernah beta melakukan kesalahan secara terang-terangan atau pun kutuk belakang anda,

sorry yea?

and, halalkan makan minum beta,oke? :)

i thought nak tulis panjang hari ni,tapi 

suddenly, slides law 2 di depan aku ni macam menampar-nampar pipi aku tanpa belas kasihannya,

kenapa?

agak ar!

my final exam is within fortnight!  

and, it's already monday!

i'll better get busy by now.

study mood activated!

harap maklom,u'll be missing me for that long!

nuffnang jangan lupa klik,dana aku nak beli bazoooka tuh!

p.s.  misi aku nak merampas boyfie orang dibatalkan serta-merta.aku tak sanggup nak curang kat Tabi...

p.s.s. please doakan aku boleh jawab exam dengan smooth!and,cepat dapat boyfie baru.(sbb asasi dh habis!)

thanks!sayang anda semua!

Perampas boyfriend orang,kejam tak?

So,apa pandangan korang pada manusia-manusia perampas ni?

kuang jaqqqq!

keji?

kejam?

tahi?

cool?LOL

well,save it.

why?

hoih!menatang puteh gedik!dok diam-diam!

sebab,frankly,honestly,

aku rasa macam nak rampas boyfriend orang,lah!!!!

Dari dulu aku tengok status dia kat facebook,

wahhh!sangat devoted and sayang kat girlfriendnya...

sangat jealous!

sebab,to me, lelaki susah nak committed,

but, somehow i could tell yang he is such a great man.

lately,,,,

i saw his page,status and all....

they seem to be having a fight!

jahat ke,kalau aku rasa this is the best time untuk bertindak?

uhhh...kejinya aku!

tapi...

i don't know!!!

everytime im thinking of doing such sin,

i'll tell myself;

don't Fynn,nanti tuhan balas! kesian tat girl...

dalam hati?

please lah...break!break!break!

keji?

walau apapun, hati aku tetap milik seorang :)

Tabi oppa!

i love u lah,sayang!

my personal favorite sun ♥

p.s. :women out there,sila hargai bf anda,if x,i culik!

It's time to make it public.

i'm giving out a terrible sigh in case u didn't realize it...

God,i'm exhausted.

i'm about to let EVERYTHING out.

it is advisory for u not to read it in anyway.

yes,u could use it as a weapon against me,

laugh it,make fun of me,i don't care.

talk behind me,label me,do whatever u guys want,

i just don't care anymore,

i just don't!

i read my best buddy's blog just now,

she wrote about her problems and all,

then i realize how long i've been under pressure.

too bad that i has to make it public.

friends do read my blog,and yes that's fine.

but,they spread bad rumors too,u see?

well,to me,thats ugly.

i don't know whether it's me or anything else,

psychologically i'll not blame myself for sure,

but u sure can,

yeah,whatever,i said i don't care.

this semester i had fun being myself,

and i thought that was cool,

but seems like not everyone's agreeing with me.

didn't everyone go around saying it's okayyy being different,be yourself and all,

but screw u guys.

why is it when i'm being one,u said;

CHANGE!

there is this one big bragger in my class.

there u go,i've let it out.

aftermath?i might get boycott by others.

why?

because it turns out that i'm the only one who has the courage to voice out my spiteful feeling public and not acting angelic in front of that person and bad mouthing that person behind the person's back.

let just call that person goblin.

gosh,it feels GOOD.

back to the topic,

i HATE goblin.

i f#@&ing hate goblin!

and,for those who constantly questioning why me and 

my troops keep on using foul wordies,

 put on my shoes. 

can't wait to hear which word wud u use!

i can't understand how on earth could they stand a person 

that keeps on insulting them directly and 

praising herself publicly over and over again like shit?

yes,they own such a nobel and great heart.

a salute from me to them.

u go folks!

so,why complain?

why must u burden up my thought with the feeling of dissatisfaction towards that goblin ?

just so u got alliance and then working your ass off to bring me down when you are with the goblin?

that's SMART.

maybe a little bit selfish over there?

uhh huh?

and,whats with this awkward responds ever since the MUET's result was out?

yes,

i got band 5!

and yes,

i'm a bit proud.

because i finally can prove to everyone that i somehow has something in me,

that i'm not sitting here in uitm reading law for just a matter of luck.

and i can in one way can make my mum and my family shut up their complain about me not choosing to be in IPGM,

(of course,it didnt shut mum.she still thought i'd do better in Tesl)

but i decided to keep it down from people because i knew this would happen!

Most will go around with disbelief and theories.

saying that i'm just being lucky again and because i was taking it in a kampong school.

well, that surely is offensive.

FYI,

i NEVER been lucky once in my life.

and,the place where im taking that silly test is the center for the test in my state.

but then,people will go;

Perlis itself is a kampong.

or,

uuuww....alah,ko kan terer,fynnn...

stop it,will ya?

what's the big deal??!

gimme money,i'll do retest!

if its the only way to shut u down...

to relate,

haven't i mention how much i hate people whos underestimating others?

same goes to the goblin.

i just wish i could slap everyone who's doing this shitty.

please lah,stop acting or even think u are wayyy better than others,

cause at the time u are doing it,

u already wayyyyy WORSE!

u see,some might good in this certain thing but some not,

but they might be better in something else.

its not like those are gonna last pon...

i stutters at public speaking,

and i'm too wretched at debates,

i'm no good at making friends

neither giving out first impressions,

but in everything i do,

i have commitment. 

i give out the best of me FAIRly.

it's ok if u looking down on me,

it happens all the time and im kinda used to it.

those staring, awkward glimpse,and cold treatment.HAHA

insulting my friends right in front of me,

using your advantage against her disadvantage?

is that all u got?

fighting with us losers so that u can look good?

playing on the safe side,scared that u might get hit?

that's a very brave of u!

seriously,it's shocking that others fail to figure it out~

and,im still in shock that i allow myself to call u my friends.

shame on us!

and about last madam Carol's class.

it bothers me up till this very second.

i can guarantee that after class,people go around saying how rude and bad i am....

isn't it true?

HAHA.and i thought i've told u i'm lacking of attitude?

label me,condemned me,do whatever you want.

Madam herself will hate me afterward.

*sigh

ouh,in case you are wondering,

that time,

i was waiting for others who were in line to show her their topics at my place,

while showing my friends something on the laptop.

then she went announcing that the practice is about to start,

and i rose hand,thought that she might spare me some time so that i could go and discuss my topic with her,

never in my mind that i ever think to act snob or rude,

then, she went;

what?do u want me to go over there?

talking about respect and everything,

saying that im so upset,

and i got the awkward looks from the whole classmates

saying;

"dammit Fynn,u are horribly rude"

all eyes on me.

thought that i've told,i can't stand people looking at me at once.

i bet they forgot.

yes!i'm damn offended.

and it hurts u know,to receive such judgment when u less expect it.

u guys just don't care.

but,if really i'm the one who's guilty,

then forgive me.

i can't change the fact that i'm no robot who doesn't make mistake.

uhhh....

it feels damn much better to have everything out.

they have been in there for such a long time.

i can't wait to get the hell out of here.

i'm grateful that in the midst of everything i at least have friends who constantly backing me up,

THANKS a lot!

i didn't know if i can go through all this without u guys.

and,to dearest and beloved

enemies and enemies to be;

I JUST DON'T CARE.

not that i'm alive because of u,anyway.