Sem 3:This is me trying.

Ingat lagi dua tahun dulu.That time when UPU's result was out and I didn't get any offer because of some technical defects and I kind of mourn every second of my life.I didn't quite remember how much I cried or how much heartaches I have to endure but what I've remember from back then was I promised myself, once I'm on board,I'll do anything to succeed 'cuz I have something to prove.Last two semester was hard,real hard.So much troubles;friends,houses,conflicts,drama,results.Semester 2 was the worst.Bila teringat result exam masa tu I thought that was it.They were right,and I was wrong.I'm not made for law school,that I'm too stupid to get on and that time I thought I was going to surrender.Keputusan memang nasty-ly teruk and what make it worse, seniors going on about 'susah nak improve gpa once dah teruk and everything', ramai orang kena repeat this and that subjects, in law school repeat tu is a norm lah and frankly,I believed them.I was down,since then I look down upon myself,I lost any form of confidence left in me but then I think to myself; 'If you are going to fail,fail trying.'.That way, when someone harass me with judgmental critics I could say at least I've done everything I could and not blame it all on the world.So, semester 3. I got friends with the awesomest creatures I could ever ask for, I still woke up late,skipped classes, pandang BEL sebelah mata,messed up my heart,but I keep the interest going.I know somewhere in me that I'm just an ordinary average not genius but I stay.and I learn.So,last 22 February was the result day.People were going crazy about it on tweeter and facebook but not me.Until,few hours ago.

Alhamdulillah.

Gladly,I PASS!freaking pass!all the subjects.

and 3 pointer.whaddap!

and I got some As though it was elective,and such but still.

Unfortunately for me,not a dean list this time neither.(DL students dont skip class like me or neither belajar one sem subject in 2 days)

But I improved hella lot in my GPA.

and I'm satisfied and thankful enough :)

No,this is not for my bragging food.You're missing the point.I've got totally zero to brag about.Others had done so so much much better than me.and whaddaya know,it's baru sem 3,sweetheart. I've put this not so pretty result up here is for those who thought they're just a bunch of average losers yang survive basedly sebab luck.This is for those who once dreams on taking over the world but end up empty handed and this is for those who are just like me.Listen, at one point or another in life, you will get this tragic flings that made you think you're a worthless piece of shit and that you're just supporting actor and there are no room to shine.You try,you fail,you try again,you fail again but failing should not be able to stop you from trying.It's what its job and your job is to keep on trying until finally a new script is handed to you and your name was on top of the cast.My advice, if you're too tired of trying you just stay where you are,no movement,do nothing that's alright but never once give up.Because if you notice, good things tend to happens when all the hope is gone,isn't it?Now turn that frown upside down and walk with grace :)

Living life like a boss!

I sucks at intro so, yep me not planning on any. But before that, do I need to remind you I've been away from writing(no not writing, I do writing all the time.hey, I'm one of those girls who still keep a diary,fyi).The term is, blogging.I've been away from blogging for quite a long time now,didn't I? So,this is me making a comeback after the long hiatus(it always sounded so cool this way) and hopefully, able to feed those hungry stalkers of mine?(well,what do you mean by if I had any?pfft).Too long for an intro but whatever, I'll be writing on what's happening on my life for the past me missing in action(MIA) and what is clouding up my mind recently.So, bare with me, what do you expect?I have to cover the three months entry into one post.Long is what you should be expecting!

Let's start with the third semester in my awesome and lively NOT law school of mine.

Ever heard of mak cik pak cik going over how hard law school is going to be?Well, booyah it's nothing but the truth. We law student can't seem to stop whining about why are we here taking law major, why there's no bloody fool who ask for our hand in marriage yet, or why do I have to be a law student at all.Ya know, those regretting whines that lead you to nowhere but some more whines? Here let me give you a closer look.

Due to SCLC's(the club that I join) programs, I've been quite a bee this semester. Most unforgettable moment is when we conducted a program at a middle school.and how do kiddos work with me?Not well.Everybody knows that.so why did I go?Suicide mission,obviously.But hey,for some reasons, I'm still kicking and there's no murder there(at least for now).Phewww.Point is, kiddos starting to acknowledge my existence and I'm closer to being all wifey type now.This is what I've been telling you about. Me,being a law student. Mental.

Can't believe how good they behave in photos.pfft

Kak long's car wash program.

Jyeah,she's the only one loving law.haha

Fast forward to final exam.All study week long, nescafe or white coffee or McD's brewed coffee had been my legal drugs which kept me awake. Most of us didn't sleep well enough since we have to learn a one semester subject all in two or if we're lucky enough 3 days.Yikes, I know. But when you're in university, that's pretty normal and now I have the thought that what's the point of going to class if I can learn everything in less than a week?You mad? I have this subject that I only attend not more than 5 classes for the whole semester and I'm dead worried about the result.Nahh,kidding. I'm pretty much satisfied that I actually manage to answer the paper. Of course no A is guaranteed but hey, I did pretty good there. and...not to forget my Moral and Ethics subject. I went to lectures, do one time presentation and in every class I rudely scrolling on Tumblr but when it comes to final exam, it surprised me that I'm able to memorize hadith like, we're talking real hadith here,people!So I guess, I deserve some tabik or something?HAHA. Fine,fine,sorry. I didn't meant to brag just joking and obviously it ain't funny but truth be told, please please I just need to pass the papers and at least maintain the 3 pointer. Mann,law is pain in the ass. You, who plans on taking this path,save yourself!

My classmates,despite some of the immature sheeps(just that one sheep) and annoying people they are the best.Like seriously seriously the best.

the ugly truth of me not fitting in law.period

I just can't get over A'a's boobies cuppies :D

Oh oh,did I mention I went to the palace?No?Well, here goes

I will never understand the rich.purr

Then the Revive,obesity thingy~

Not winning in fact, disqualified instead but hella proud.Aumm!

Well,it's a matter of how you looks at thing,right? :)

Moving on.This sem,I've got a new house(as a tenant,of course). Plus some new coolest hommies ever! So, since Kak Long and Shella is from Sarawak, we thought it'd be great to throw a house warming party and serve laksa sarawak. It went well, I guess?The foods yums yums yums.If I were a boy,I wanna marry my hommies.

Why do I have to look brilliantly stupid in this photo?

I love this photo simply cuz I look like a thug.problem?

So,we had this crazy idea back then.Ya know, Genting.

Them all.Izza,Sherry,Shel and kak long.

*clap clap*

Not going to put all up.You have my facebook for that.What else eh?OH. As I goes along, I got to know new people. Great people in fact.

and sticking with the old flames.the best ever.

and so.the end.lol, you know I'm kidding,right?It's just it's maghrib and I'm hungry. So,I'm lazy now. too lazy to think.So,there you have it. The summary version of what happened during my MIA. Dah,puas catch up? ADIOS la viosa,my amore!(I don't know what the hell does that mean.whatever)

Living life like a lao sai!(go ahead google it dumbass)

The result sucks.

Specially dedicated for those who's eager 'till it itch to know my friggin' result for the passed semester.

I could never have done this without you.

Thank you, thank you.

Well, you probably can tell from the tittle.Yes,I bet it sucks and I guess I own the trophy now. Look at me,look at me, ranting about the same old thing again. That's right,tarik nafas lega sebab aku tak dapat DL lah, result tak cun mane, cuma tak repeat, itu saja.

Well. itu saja the only thing that hold me from the damn noose atm.

Bleughhh.I'm sick of these morons keeps on bragging at my face about their I-can-tell-people-my-result-cause-it's-gooooddd-and-in-return-you-should-tell-me-back-too result. You know what,this ain't high school no more,grow up girlfriends :) 

Anddd,on the other side of the whole thing. I'm glad I don't have to commit suicide for getting below 3 pointer. I know my mum will never let this go easy on me,that's alright I'm kinda used to it. Well, at least I have JPA at my back. They even sent me a letter to congratulate me on my 3.1 pointer marked as excellent achievement. a big juicy LOL.

Dan macam biasa, 

bahawasanya aku berjanji dan berikrar akan berusaha bersungguh-sungguh dan lebih lagi, bla bla bla...

(most of us can probably memorize this already.smirk)

I did some extra effort, it didn't shows this time. The End. Oh yes! that's it. This is not the end.

Baru dua langkah.

Today, the last day of class for this current semester.
Semester two.Hence the dua langkah.
get it? get it?

We had class party,and I quite like it.Well yeah,to even have a post about it.
Sorry blog,I've been neglecting you eversince tumblr :(
I can't help it.
I'm getting tired of people questioning why the hell that I'm so addicted to it and I seriously swear feels like axing them. Well of course since it's illegal.
and because they haven't been there yet and they are not the same with us tumblrians.
Ahh,those facebookers(didn't it rhymes with hookers?LOL)~


Anyway,final is on the next week.I feels like killing myself even when writing this.GOD,this sem was tough. Why yes,everything was. The learning, the classes, the extra activities which people can't get over with only to make their resume looks great enough, the fakers, the dramas, the friends and their bullshits, the boyfriend which I never happen to get yet any,the angst and the fact that I'm still breathing now.

So here's the picture,after scoring 19 out of 40 from a contract test.On my defence, I don't revise the night before,so...jyeahhh.

Don't ask me stupid question like why I had it censored or anything.

Yes,I probably hate that person and don't want it to spoil the memory.

You don't need to guess whoever that person is,

because later you guys will go around spread things,nasty one about me doing this.

It's my blog,it's my right,it's my feeling,alright?

Do not tell me that it was not nice and everything to hate,

because when people do that, I feel like slapping them hard.

You might think you're a saint,but I ain't.

Wow,I really am something. If you're asking me whether you should pursue law or not, I'd say BACK OFF, naive! It just part 2 but I'm feeling like I've graduated in seven different degrees already. That only if you know what I mean~ btw, I had improve on my slutty pose!

p.s. desperately needs to start bulimic again.

Yesterday was a fairytale.

The subject matter is the purse aka wallet. and this is the picture of me and my friend, Aina getting all high and excited after finding it :)

So today, I kinda dropped my wallet in a taxi which I have not know any idea of, the number or anything else but the name and some descriptions of the driver. If you're in my situation what do you do?? I know, FREAK OUT. I was going to since I got everything in my wallet like ic,licenses, bank card, uhmmm this friday night bus ticket~ And for like 10 minutes, I stand right beside the place where the taxi drop us like a total bimbo who don't know what to do.

Then, exactly when the brain start functioning, I took this one dreadful cab(kenari) to go to Sek 2,to the taxi's port for a hunt. Tell you what, this Kenari pak cik was so mean all the way there. He was nagging all the way of how mad he is sebab when he pick me up, he sort of lose all the passenger for that morning. And then he went on and on about me not going to ever find the wallet and how impossible it is that I only stand a 30% chance. He also kind of telling me to give up hope and indirectly told me how stupid I am not to take the plat number and everything. At one point, I was going to ask him to pull over and just walk myself out but I don't know where I got such patience that day. Seriously,out of the days.Fione!

At Sek 2, all the taxi drivers were gathering around me asking, investigating, you know~ Seems like there's no hope, but then when I mention the name of the driver, they were like "Oh,we know that guy" then this one blessed pak cik call him, but sadly the guy wasn't even out yet. Quite frustrated, we thanked them and walk away to bus stop, waiting for bus, maybe heading to pkns, to another taxi spot or maybe later, police station. Then,suddenly this blessed pak cik ask me to approach him and told me he knew the guy but just don't have his number. So,after getting my number he went on search. 

Just when we're about to hop in the bus, he called.

"Awak ada kat mana? datang balik kat sek 2, dah jumpa beg duit awak"

And yes, I feel like run fast to hug him but, ahem! So jyeah, I'm so grateful that such human being is still exist. and I did gave him some reward just like the old essay I used to write about this man losing his wallet and this kid found it and return it safely and getting rewarded. Yes,just like that. Except that, i never feel so touch like this before,indeed.

So,what I learn today? There will be friends who will help you all the way through and there will be some who just act like as if nothing's wrong. For that, thank you so much, Aina and Majdah and this one budak asasi! Second, the will always be demons but angel is still flying in between. Thank you Pak cik terbaik beyond infinity (thats the name I save in my phone book), I really wish you well and dimurahkan rezeki,AMIN. to the other pak cik, OMG you're so handsome :3

Oh, not to forget, the pak cik kenari, thank you sebab still you willing to pick me up despites everything else and hey,

IN YOUR FACE! I found it, didn't I?

Btw, I sort of try this new look. AND, I don't quite sure if it looks okay enough on me like the superb Maria Elena, but I do get some compliment though~ One even said I wear it like Yuna.sigh. I'm still proud though I know, they probably meant cantik by referring to the shawl.HAHA. but this one guy said I look serabut. Which, I was expecting from a guy,yes. And this is why I always say that girls never dress up for boys,never. So,what'd you think? Did I pull it off? Did I nail it? or didn't I? Spill,please?

p.s. this is my kind of fairytale.not those kind with prince charming and beautiful princess,no.

Resurgam

It has been 3 days since the visit to Sekolah Henry Gurney. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. I know, some people will think that it is weird for me to have this obsession to visit this school. One of my friends even ask,

HAHA.So, the answer is yes. One of my wishlist ever since my mum told me that the school is build on island with big sharks swimming all around it. Eventhough it turns out that the actual school is not on island but in Malacca instead, that does not stop me at all. Not at all. It's just I always have a thing to 'the underdogs' and such~ Simple says, curiosity! Like, does those children eat people,kill people,rape, or does they even look like a human being? I mean, they were all kids,you know what I mean??

So, ini lah rupa sekolahnya from luar. Oh, peringatan, gambar is very limited since no cameras or anything yang boleh record tak dibenarkan bawa masuk,ye kawan-kawan. Okay, masa first nampak bangunan ni, memang teruja habis! Turun bas je, ini kerja kitorang.

Orang lain sibuk angkat barang,kitorang berangan menang hamper sebentar.LOL

Lepas dengar briefing segala, adrenaline memang dah pumping tahap apa dah. Nervous,takut, semua ada. Bila tengok tahap pencapaian akademik, I can say budak-budak situ taklah seteruk yang orang ramai selalu anggap. I mean, SPM 5A's? Budak sekolah biasa pun susah kot,nak dapat. Sukan, koko ? Okay, diorang ni semua human being juga, bukan Hanibal Lecter,no! Masih terngiang-ngiang kata-kata Inspektor tu;

"yang perempuan tolong hati-hati. Kat dalam tu ada pesalah seks..."

"jangan bagi contact number korang kalau budak-budak ni minta!"

Lepas breakfast yang super yummy, kitorang ramai-ramai gerak ke Dewan Parameswara, di mana 30 something penghuni lelaki plus 14 orang penghuni perempuan tengah menunggu. Masa tu, gementar tak perlu nak cakaplah,kan? Bila kitorang masuk je dalam dewan dari belakang, diorang terus bangun. Ada juga beberapa orang Inspektor dan pegawai penjara yang ada. Masa nak duduk dekat kerusi yang tersusun di sebelah budak budak ni, my hand memang totally menggeletar, seram sejuk semua ada. Bayangkan, semua budak lelaki, pakai kemeja dan seluar putih, kepala semuanya botak. Seram tak seram? Tapi, nak tak nak memang kena stay. Siapa suruh memandai sangat nak pergi,kan?

Lepas perkenalkan diri kitorang, fasi-fasi ni, aktiviti first pagi tu is senaman yang agak kelakar lah. Mula-mula muka masing-masing memang macam tak nak buat pun. Fasi pun jauh je duduk from diorang. Tapi lama kelamaan, diorang finally macam dah open. Agak lama juga lah, since lepas buat group, cheers baru diorang nak semangat.  

Sesi : Ice breaking

Masa ni, kitorang was allowed utk pilih our own group. So, I gor grip on this 5 girls group named 'Sempoi je'. I know the name is lame,but budak-budak~

Nama saya, *****, form 4, 20 tahun. Kak Fynn umur berapa?

Dang! Masa ni sumpah nak jerit, weyyy same je umur kita,tak perlu panggil kakak!HAHAHA. Umur kirog terpaksa dirahsiakan and perlu appear years older than them. So hey, Kak Fynn is 25.NICE.

Sesi: Cita-citaku

Agak ironic dan terkejut bila dengar diorang masing-masing nak jadi polis, askar and etc. Funny, they said it's impossible sebab diorang pendek. And to that, I'm SPEECHLESS! memang diorang girls nampak macam darjah 5-6 bukan tingkatan dah! And ada this chinese girl, bila ktorg tanya nanti besar nak jadi apa?

"Saya nak jaga mak saya"

and yet AGAIN aku speechless. Why did you get in here for,anyway?!

Sesi: Jambatan besi

This is like the fun-est game ever played that day! Like seriously, memang semua gelak macam haram lagi kot! Some took it seriously. And for my group,what do you expect? Aku ajar budfak-budak ni buat jambatan paling kelakar dalam dunia!hahahha

"Kak Fynn, muka merah dah!"

Sesi senaman 'Otomen'

Senaman ni memang bapak memalukan. Sebab terpaksa,aku buat kalau tak HAHAHAAHrapan lah. Tengah encore, tetiba budak Chinese tadi datang kat aku,

"Alaaa...akak nak balik dah..."

Mau tak berkolam mata aku weh!jangan risau guys, aku terrer control macho. Time balik, ada sesi bersalam and ramai jugaklah budak-budak perempuan yang menangis. Inspektor tu cakap, ni first time lah benda macam ni jadi,so agak kembang pukoq juga kami masing-masing :)

Aku ingat lagi, sorang budak ni punya speech,

"Kami nak ucap terima kasih sangat kpd abang-abang dan kakak-kakak fasi sebab sudi buat program macam ni dan tak aggap kami macam orang jahat. Terima kasih sebab bagi kami semangat lepas keluar nanti. Dan sebab hari ni memang best!"

Okay,ayat tu memang aku karang sendiri.Bapak la nak ingat,tapi point dia adalah sikit sebanyak. Terharu kami semua,tak terkata.Terkedu. Ada seorang budak group aku ni, siap kasi aku kata-kata semangat lagi,

'Orang yang kuat bukan lah orang yang selalu menang, tetapi seorang yang bisa bangkit selepas dia jatuh' 

Simple says, kitorang melawat Henry Gurney untuk tolong mereka, ajar mereka, tunjuk mana hala tuju tapi honestly aku rasa, mereka yang banyak mengajar kami semua.

Resurgam(moto Sekolah Henry Gurney) : I WILL RISE