Mom Mom Mom!

Mamieta!

Happy Mothers' Day!

Now that I bought you a cake, will you please with cherry on top stop bising-bising about me having no boyfriend already?

Mama gone mad.

Just had a FB conversation with my mum and I wish I could tape it and show you guys. LOL.

Atas tu,ayat motif minta handbag baru :DD

okai.ini suspicious!baru cakap tadi betapa I need car now. SERIOUSLY wish I could get it by this sem!hehe reaction I pandai cover tak?LOL

Oh Lord. Happy 21st Anniversary Mamita!

and oh, reminding ayah besok :3

Told ya she's gone mad.

Kahwin?

-_____________-''

Spaghetti bolognese super e zayyy.

Spaghetti bolognese super easy,that's what I mean.hahah.

The thing is, aku punya azam untuk sem break kali ni is nak buat spaghetti bolognese! Ini favourite saye yaw.Since kat Secret Recipe,Pizza Hut and etcetera jual sangat lah mahal,I think why not belajar buat sendiri,kan? Cheap and the best is, boleh masuk banyak mana treat yang kita nak,sbb we are the cook! Tapi bila check out recipe, those westerns and Italianos pakai red wine as main ingredient,google punya google, finally jumpa recipe yang halal and sangat simple. Paling penting,rasa nya sangat lah tip top!

Okay,nak masak for 6 orang,korang kena ada these ingredient:

• 1 piece garlic [minced]
• 1 onion [minced]
• 3-4 tomatoes [di dadu] plg senang,buy those baby tomatoes,and cut into 2 je.
• 1-2 carrots [didadu] 
• 1 btg celery [didadu]
• 1 tin tomato puree/pati tomato (boleh beli kat pasarraya,confirm ade)
• 200ml susu (this is the secret tak nak bg masam since mostly org mesia tak suka.)
• 1 kiub stok lembu (bunyi mcm letak lembu terus je tp tak.ada,sama macam kiub ayam,tomyam)
• 400 g daging cincang. (better beli je kat kedai dari susah payah nak cincang sendiri.LOL)
• garam & gula secukup rasa 
• 1 sudu oregano (kalau tak letak,tak beza sangat pun~)
• Spaghetti la for sure.nak pakai fettuccine or angel hair ke,suit yourself. 

Nampak macam banyak right?Pffttt...Aku tak pakai carrot and celery sebab rasa macam tak best. Afterall,it's optional. Plus, kalau ada parmesan cheese lg better,for finishing touch ;) Oh oh! Susu,aku pakai susu segar je,yang Dutchlady tu.

How nak masak?

1. Make sure korang ada this one big periuk yang agak tinggi so that nanti kuah tak melompat keluar,k?
2. Masuk olive oil atau minyak masak 2-3 tsp, or butter pun boleh.
3. Then letak garlic and onion.
4. Kacau sampai nampak layu,then masukkan beef tadi. Kacau sampai daging tu jadi warna brownish.
5. Masukkan tomatoes tadi, and masukkan tomato puree.
6. Then korang boleh tambah air ikut sukatan 1 tin puree tadi,sebab nanti the sos kita kena biar lama.
7. Dah?then masukkan susu and stok lembu.
8. Then,cover periuk tu and biarkan for 1 hour. Make sure,api paling kecil ye,nanti hangus kang!Jangan lupa untuk constantly check. Takut anything happen.
9. Then,bila sos dah almost nak masak,dalam periuk lain,isi air like half of it.
10. Then masukkan like 2 tsp of minyak.This untuk elak from it melekat-lekat. And some salt.
11. Then,boil the spaghetti.
12. tarra~~~~

Senang kan? so this is my second time buat,since first time dulu terlampau laku and lapar,tak sempat nak snap lansung.(cehhh). Tapi seriously,bolognese is my favorite for a reason.Sedap nyahhh,try la buat!I quote my mum lah~

Sedap,but kena lah belajar masakan orang melayu jugak...

I swear, it taste better than it looks!

haihhh.I'm Brit-ish,mummm!

A budak like you, shouldn't!

Trust me,sooner or later aku akan kena sue dengan Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka or worst case scenario, one of MY kind akan jadi one of MY rojak. Who cares,Malaysians love rojak.

Ini pon rojak- nak kencing comic-nerds.

The big deal with my tajuk is that, I've been locked inside my own house dah almost thousand lightyears(divided it until it make sense) and every passing days, except for spending majority of my lifetime depan laptop or tv or berdengkur dalam bilik, I got to watch whatever is going on in the surrounding. Which is to put it bluntly, how my family dah jadi awesomely tungang terlabik. Yes, I know yang zaman sekarang is zaman kiddos rule like JB and Willow Smith,but it is indeed very surprising to see THAT happening to my sibs. I mean,adiks.

Okay, I may sound macam my parents, but seriously I know why they're worrying about everything now. You,know. How different diorang punya times and ours. It's like how wrong is these kiddos punya time compared to ours,the 1990's. Dulu we all had Lizzie Mcguire, now they had Hannah Montana. Dulu whenever a text comes in beeping like crazy,my mum akan berubah jadi to some sort of serigala jadian and run amok accusing me having non-healthy relationships lah,but now my lil bro siap dapat duit top up lagi. Dulu by ten dah kena masuk tidur but budak budak tu sekarang, aku dah bertahi mata, still lagi histeria depan tv.If you know what I mean.

Stress gue.

Bukan aku tak tahu, si blossom(adik laki beta) tu 24/7 asyik texting sana sini. Dah la ringing lagu indon bapak panjang sia! Dengan perempuan pulak tu, flirt so immaturely. Kalau lah aku boleh ketuk kepala and tell him, this thing yang kau buat one day, when you grow up to be in a position of mine,having this maturity of seeing the reality baru kau tahu, you should have spend the money buying me stuffs,instead. Tapi I'd rather you learn it by hand. Just tukar vibrate mode,boleh?Then go ahead, crushing your fairy tale.

And these under 18 girls and some yang pernah jadi junior aku dulu,tergedik sana sini.Meluat la bila asyik login FB and tengok status jiwa kacau kau...

"Cinta itu haruskah dijerit kuat kuat atau simpan dalam hati"

"Yes,saya baru pijak semut"

"Awak,dia minx 6be phne"

Susah betul,kalau suci sangat ni.Kau ingat cinta tu macam dalam movie indon ke weh? Kau cuba upah orang acu pistol dekat kepala so called laki kau tu,kau rasa dia nak terkencing dalam seluar and lari atau take the bullet for you?Reality check weh~ Aku seriously tak sokong budakbudak underage ni ada fb and phone and other social stuff yang lain.Crap,crap,crap!

buttercup, bubbles and blossom(adik adik aku),sila jangan buat perangai tahi macam ni.

oh,aku batman.

Cuti semester.

Paper last haritu, ialah paper paling killer = Tort

"Okay,time's up.Berhenti menjawab."

Sangat semangat untuk meninggalkan UiTM.Oh La La~

Cuti lama ingatkan nak buat benda berfaedah~

Sampai je di rumah, aku menuju ke tempat paling secure dan heaven on earth.

Selang beberapa minggu, selama ni kejadah aku... 

Yes,be yourself.Betul tu.

*kening kening*

Not so good news.

Mari mari, dengar ini cerita!

Poyo weh...

Ok, mostly dah tahu condition aku yang tak berapa nak senta these passing days. Sebab kejadian lahanat tuh. And, of course aku tak terkejut lansung when it turn out this way. Agak pathetic and totally predictable. Dah,dah. Stop kutuk,already.Nanti tak pasal aku ada fan page free kat FB.

Okay,here it goes.

UiTM akan serap masuk 16 people.Before this i thought all together 20 orang yang kena,idk what happen. Itupun doesn't necessarily including me. 

My heart says: Terima kasih saja lah labu!

My head says: please let me be among those 16~

Stupid fynn!

Thanks to Hawa for this infos. So, by next week baru dapat tahu whether i will make it or tak. So,marilah tunggu beramai-ramai!

My plan?

I thought if dapat masuk UiTM, i shall go and wait sampai keputusan rayuan UPU is out. and if i get lucky, by any chance of course, i wouldn't hesitate untuk melarikan diri ke UKM. UNLESS, the second intake session is differ from the first.faham tak?Nevermind. tak penting .So,keep our fingers crossed yah~

Now, my hommey is in complete chaos. Mum and Dad bising pasal how it is expected and keeps on telling me to redha,redha and redha. Unfortunately, i am not that person of "okay,i accept". Nahhh.I shall berusaha mati-matian sampai i get what i deserved. i always get what i want. It will be just a matter of time and how.

You wait~

Listen,

First, yes Beyonce did inspired me for the tittle.

Second, i don't really expect anyone would read this (yes of course,except for my life time stalkers), sebab 

*sigh*

Thirdly,don't bother ring my parents or 999.

yah, whatever!

People usually becoming this wretched when it's Monday but as for me, everyday is Monday! Guess what? No doubt i'm in a very suicidal mood right now. Believe it or not, each of us had at least once in your entire life feeling like killing yourself. That's sure is a fact!... that i've just made up.HAHA. Shamelessly speaking, i have tried so many 'tricks' back then. Cutting off wrists, stabbing myself with broken bottles (in the stomach area on a weird-paddy fields'-machine), holding my breath (this one deserved a LOL), summoned demons (oh,this one too!), and everything else a teenage girl could ever done. Seems like i failed quite a lot,huh? Ouh,Ouh! i suddenly curious of how can i kill myself painlessly!!! O,Mr. Google...Help me out here,please?

Mr. Google just gave me links to websites of "Ways of committing suicide painlessly " 

And i thought i was the only one.

Well, mostly suggesting drugs, carbon monoxide inhaling, shot in the head, you know, those stuff i couldn't afford to. Guess, God wanna keep me around a little longer.pffttt.

People always goes around saying:

Oh,Fynn,she's a strong girl,demonic,heartless,and persistent.

Laugh out most of the time,

Of course she's doing fine,why bother ask?

  Having this darkest secret which i never tell any living things on earth buried in my chest is like having an invisible arrow shot and stuck on my heart,...or liver.I don't know...

I desperately needs to let it out, but my guess is nobody's listen.

No one wouldn't want to.

I've been judged all the time,

not to mention the on-going misinterpretations,

desertions.

To top these up, yet another so called catastrophe is bugging me.

Not that i've decided to be a lesbo or such but when you're nineteen and you are still spouse-less, everyone around you will start poking their nose in our personals!

Asking me suspicious and yet tricky questions,

Throwing me smirks and speculations,

Making stupid conclusions.

God, even my mum!

She's been nagging for all my life and i don't think she'll ever stop.

You see, i'm just not the kind of girl moms would want to have.

I do things my way,

I hate being told what to do,

I'm rebellious.

Nevermind, i can't blame her.

Your life is empty,you don't have this, you don't have that, you don't even have a boyfriend.

Curse it. WHY?

I've been dealing with this for the toughest three years of my life but when i'm least expected, those homosapiens who thinks they have the right to bug with my relationship status bring it up straight to my poker face.

It hits me hard,indeed it did.

Tell me,

Which girl at my age don't want to have a super charming boy head over heels on her?

To have that someone that she could think he is her soulmate?

Having pictures all over facebook, changing the status and gets people jealous or either clicking the 'like' button?

just by thinking of these tempts me.

But who am i?

to ever defy the fact that,this bastard i've been waiting for is going to be late?

the fact that boys nowaday are hard to believe?

the fact that:

none is interested.

none catches my eyes.

i got much more to think of rather than this.

me not being pretty,girly,attractive,and fit enough.

well,at least these i can come up with for now.

So i came up with these ;

they did a very good job indeed, as distraction tools.

some said i'm desperate,

some said i'm obsess,

some laugh and even impress.

funny though that some even believe it.

says you!

as for me, i created some delusion, with some-some of hallucination of me loving those top stars so that i won't bother looking for boys.

Surprisingly, it works!

the problem is, i'm spending too much time online.

pathetic!

Take me away,

i needs a getaway...

I hate my high school friends,i really do.

ThankGod some of them is still trustworthy.

Up until now, i've been worrying about tolerating,being considered,

but i'm done being nice!

In the end,i'll be treated like trash anyways.

Toss around.Deserted.Forgotten.

Why is it i'm so messed up?

I'm beginning to think that there's something wrong with me.

well, i figured it quite a long time ago.

Now,come to think of it,my mum is right,

My life does empty.

I've heard it somewhere,

Before we were born, 

We had been shown of how our life going to be if we choose to live,

all the ups and downs of life which lays ahead.

Then,we decide to be born or not.

I seriously don't get it why i said YES.

Would it be different if there's no me?

HAHA!wow.tahniahlah to whom yang willing to read this far.

It's either you really care for me that much, just can't get enough poking around my life, the needs of stalking or you really are listening.Forget it.No worries, i just wrote this as a practice. You know, i'm thinking of being a novelist.yahh,right~

Finding Fynn!

salam,peeps ;]                          

mana kau menghilang Fynn?!

 uhhh...susah nak jawab soalan ni. i've been staring at this white empty box for days but yet still tak dapat idea untuk tulis apa-apa. mungkin sebab lama sangat dah tak online dan this blog dah penuh dengan webs. so,for these days ahead,readers yang disayangi, please bare with me. 

so,let's start!

ok,up until now, my foundation program (asasi) dah 2 minggu habis. ThankGod, akhirnya berjaya jugak aku tamatkan 2 semester di UiTM Shah Alam. Well,kenangan pahit manis semua ada, rindu classmates! roommates! Fynn SAYANG korang lah! haha! so, last day of examination, tak ingat date but that day me,shaa and izan planned nak enjoy kat TS(time square). But, Izan tak dapat ikut...Fine-lah,dua orang pon jadi je...

nasib baik kot? or ada guradian angel ke kan, we won this itik-catching-game!haha! and we win this!

yes,nama dia LUCKY!

banyak rahsia di sebalik nama budak ni,but won't tell u!*winks

agak memalukan bila kena heret Lucky 1 KL, dalam train and all,but looking from the bright sight, 

we're FAMOUS!lalala~

so,the next day terus balik rumah. dari shah alam sampai Perlis,bapak lah jauh...

actually, kena balik a bit early sebab my lil sis nak masuk MRSM.konon nak buat kenduri lah apa... malangnya, sebab i was home lambat sikit,then i missed the event lah.haha!*glad*

then,Monday tu, the whole family, just without my bro pergi hantar budak tu kat MRSM Beseri. ceh,dekat saja,ok!Now that she's not home, rumah sangat sunyi sebab adik aku the youngest takde geng untuk bising-bising! yayy!

weekend tu pulak, my family and i,semua kena balik kampung. sebab nak attend my cousin punya wedding. well, rumah dia kat Tampin...teehee...i thought it was for a day or two je but i never expect a 3 days and 3 night wedding!!!gosh...frankly speaking, i never like attending kenduri and such. sebab aku tak suka sangat tempat yang crowded...haila fynn...but,sokay, tengok pics sudah~

theme :jawa kot?

dress yang ke : can't really tell.pffttt

nice colours. bad expression on me :(

told ya,i hate crowds.

aku baru bangun tidur,hush...jangan komen!

Congrates,kak Shikin! 

well,great and happy story ends here.definitely.

lepas tu,bila balik perlis something bad happened. real bad.

i've suspected this. dah lam i had this sick feeling against my mum about knowing something she shouldn't.

can u imagine, she keeps on bothering me with question like 

"are u still friend with Legolas(bukan nama sebenar)"

"Legolas is still keeping in touch with u ke?"

i had enough!geram betul!at last, she admit yang she did read my bloody diary!

i hate her for that. yes, i know the fact yang she is my mom but that does not permit her to interfere with my personal stuff, especially my diary!and sebab insiden tu,i took a week untuk recover.

HAHA.so,sekian,these are why Fynn menhilang selama 2 minggu.

p.s. nantikan my next entri,nak kenakan golongan playboy pulak!

Not for me~

what am i trying to tell u?

nineteen is near weyyy!!!

it STIFF,

as still as barks of the woods,

dull

yea,right~

let me go home!!!

got a couple of days to turn myself into this~

good luck, Fynn

Megan Fox,kalahkan Kelantan & banjir!

reminder : *these shots are not taken at any island,but on a real LAND near Thailand*

Perlis laa wey!hometown of mine ;(

and,the last pic shows a river.a bloody floody river!

i know,winter is coming,so i expected snow but pffffftttt....Malaysia ader salji ker?so,we got this. days before aku tengok berita tv3,Kelantan jeh yang banjir.banggg!Perlis kena jugak rupenya...

last time banjir terok jadi kat Perlis nih,kalau tak salah,masa aku high school lagi...waktu tuh aku kena pindah kot!sebab rumah aku dah jadik cam rumah terapung dah waktu tuh.lawa! ;D

hopefully,this year tak kena pindah!*crossed fingers*at least,tak as bas as flood in Kelantan.tu laa...saiko laa team bola sepak Singa Utara lagi...tapi,takpe,sebab kaw dah kalah dengan N. Sembilan kesayangan aku semalam,aku kesian jugaklah kat korang.U guys should see how happy my mum semalam masa N9 menang!orang nogoghiii~

okelah,aku taw korg bace post nih,pasal Megan Fox je pon,en...so,dalam kebanjiran nih,aku tetiba baik hati nak kasik korang tengok Megan Fox yang seksi.Nah.....link download movie "Jennifer's Body".Citer nih mmg super duper besh.taw la sebab aper kan?*smirk*

p/s:lelaki dilarang download!bhahahaha

JENNY 1
JENNY 2

Ready.Set.DON'T go!

yep,u got it right.its a song.haha.no worries,i won't write a song review,not today.however,incase u don't know,the song is sang by miley cyrus(i love this girl like f**king crazyyy) and his dad,billy ray cyrus.its about how a dad is not willing to let her favourite daughter go but yet he have to.cus its time.OMG!OMG!*the tears are coming out!*its an old song but then i just heard it and...i remembered about my dad.ouh,i MISS him so much.sayang ayah...its been months since i last seen him.the last time when i went back,i didn't have the chance to spend time with him cus,he's a busy man.and the break is like few days!and i don't have the chance to kiss his hand before i got here.well,thi shaunt

me up until now!

haha.back then,i was my dad's favourite!hehe.when my mum force me to take medicine,i ran away like a chicken around the house.but then,dad brought me to the nearest shop and got me candies and soda.i don't know how,but he manage to get me to eat those so-called syrup!eeeeuuuw!kijammmm ayah :) now,not anymore.not after my lil sis was born.he just see me as a grown up girl who dont need him to treat me with candies and soda in order to make me take those nasty pills.guess,mum catch me this time around.

this might mean nothing to u,but it mean everything to me.i love my dad like so dayyym much.i miss him!i wanna go back home again.go for picnik or pretend to be sick(this tactic is so stone age,huhh?). i miss being on his old motorcycle and go to the shop and bought candies.my god,i wanna turn back time.however,i know i have to be patient,waiting for the time to go home.huhhh,its been months....hate this feeling!*shrug*so,for those whos homey is near,stop whinning about nak balek every single weekend or so ever.u gotta have to be me to know how i do i feel everytime u said,"tak best-nya this week x bleh balek rumah"

this lady is missing her DAD xoxo

Leaving so soon...

duhh!it's wednesday already!im heading back to shah alam this morning.EXACTLY at 9!haha...wtf,huhh?you tell me.huhhh.what a FUSS!and dont ask me why am i still not sleeping.tommorow,i had to go on the bus early in the day and my journey will take about 8hours,what do you think i can do except for sleeping???get the idea already?good.uhhh...thinking of BTN make me sick!i don't wanna go there.most people said it was great.yeah,right.but,never for me.for all my life,i haven't been into any of the camp which i got a great group.indeed,everyone turns out to have lots of fun but me.anyway,still looking forward to it.this might turns out well.*sigh* so,terengganu,here i come!
this hols was a bit frustrating cus i didn't have the chance to hang out with my girls,i mean,4days in perlis just doesn't seems enough.also,im wondering why doesn't friends from matriculation beep me or something.i know they are all here and having such a great TWO weeks of hols...did they forget me already?ouh!of course,they've met new friends..haha!life.*sigh*and the news about a friend of mine who got involved in accident do a bit much bother me.takziah to her family.FYI,her father died.al-fatihah.well,God can take life whenever he wants.take note!so,forgive me if i've done wrong :)

lagi?bla...bla...bla...n yess,FINALLY!elaun dah masok!yeyyy!(there u go,some FAKE excitement)rm1000,doesn't sound enough,huhh?u tell me.what else should i write?duhhh!im blank.ok lah,until i get my lappy back,n back from that tempting camping,take care.

I'm HOME!!!

shaha.i know,some of you don't like to hear that,but face it!last night(8p.m. saturday) i finally reached home.pheww...what a journey!yah,finally i decided not to take the train and burned the ticket though.i didn't go with them.i stay at my Pak Uda's house at seremban for one night.i took the bus.huhhh.i hate bus!it makes me dizzy.& want to puke!i don't know how's the BTN trip is going to deal with me.hush.tell nobody or else they don't want to seat with me,later!haha.so,to come back to the story,i thought a night stand at my uncle's house would mean bad luck.why?dont you know?he got like,i don't know...three KIDS!!!i mean,hell im going to die.but,thinking that otherwise i have to go on a train with a bunch of people that i dislike,i rather meeting the kiddos ;p(didn't i tell u that im allergic to them???u dont dare put them near me!)

so,here it come.Pak Uda told me that he's going to pick me up at 11am and as i expected,there you go,11am SHARP,he was waiting for me in front of Mawar's little gate.heee.he's a leftenan in airforce,btw.so,i follow him to INTAN.pick some of his buddies.then off to seremban.ouh,i skipped the part which i have to sit and have a drink with a bunch of old and RICH granpas,yahh,it was BORING!but i did some eye-flirting with some(for future sake).haha!dirty me.i did get this datuk to treat me juice(real one,ok!)!*winks*then,i pegi melawat tempat baju batek uitm dibuat,ok!hahaha.x excited pon,larhh!

sampai depan rumah uda,(omg!lamer xpost dlm BM :))i saw...CHILDREN.deadliest challenge for me!ouh,God,help me to cope...then,amazingly,god did hear my prayer.nahhh.he didn't take away the children but they were actually acting NICE to me.unlike other kiddos!im in a total shock!my favourite is Syafiq(why must this name?)he was soooo sweeet!

syafiq : akak fyna,jom ar pegi mall.

me : no larhhh,akak penat.nak titow,dear.

syafiq : akak tanak pegi,syafiq pon tanak pegi lah.ibu!syafiq tanak pegi,nk teman akak fyna.

me : syafiq pegi larrr,rugi ouh!

syafiq : syafiq nak teman akak fina.syafiq pon ngantok.nak titow jugak.

awww!cm tak cayer i can finally manje2 dgn budak.i mean,seriously,B-U-D-A-K! ;p here's the pic.Syafiq is in red.the other is Syauqat.little bro :)

overall,my stay was a total blast except for the fact that i left my lappy there.damn!journey in the bus?SUCKS.i dont want to talk about it AT ALL.im lucky that i didnt puke on anyone else.or i'll get kick out of the bus.now that i'm home,i feel like im back into my palace once again.still haven't have time for hanging out with friends.some have had me booked.2 dates in line.hahaha!dgn scandal,yes.but,no way a bf-to-be.mum?she keeps stuff-ing me with her cooks.which is very fine as i had suffered from a great hunger in shah alam.dad?i don't know where,but he seems to have every single fruits of my favourites all over the house.from rambutans to tembikaiii!sisters?so far,they didn't do much harms to me.and,i got packs of chocolates from langkaweee^^

plus,they also subscribe some new channel for me!hey yeyyy!but,still the renovation in my room haven't yet finish.im a bit dissapointed but,its okay larhhh.everything is good enough.feels good to be home...

homeSICK!

urghhh!i missssss homey so damn much!i wanna go home ASAP,dowh! i noe,back then in high school i slalu kutok budak2 yg tinggal jaoh from schools cus bising homesick larr so ever!padan larr muker!dushhh...huaaaaa....now i noe how does it feel to live far away from your very own castle!your own hiding place! ;) i misss home terribly!yes,its just three weeks but i feels like three years!dulu tym dkt sytra,3months felt like three days.things are different now!!!i though when i'm far from home,i'll be more sewel,happy and own my total freedom!hell yeah,im more SEWEL,but im trapped inside my own self!grrrr...its awkward!i miss highschool too...yup,jihah is right,world gets lonely when no friends around...sobs...its not like i dont have any around here but,sometimes i tend to remember those memories which made me wanna go through high schools once again!damn it!i cant believe it im saying this,but its the fact!goshhh...im getting worst!today is 21june...there is still one damn month for me to finally fly go back HOME! yahhh,im having hiperbole shattered all over my post,but who cares?haha.

p/s:until then....will i ever survive???sure i will...but still,i want to go home!!!