Wednesday, May 23, 2012

If you want to change,change.

"Aku nak berubah"
"Mungkin dah tiba masa untuk aku berubah?"

Dua kenyataan yg menggunakan satu perkataan yg sama tapi mempunyai kekuatan yg jauh berbeza.These days, I keeps on listening to a lot of close friends, not so close friends and even from strangers that they wanted to change. I say,if the change is for th good then by all means,carry on. 

"Entah bila lah aku nak ada kekuatan untuk berubah", they replied.

So I wait.A day has passed,then a week, then a month. Sigh. Aku cuba berfikiran positif,mungkin kekuatan yg di cari tu belum lagi dijumpai. Persoalannya, boleh ke kita jumpa sesuatu tanpa mencari terlebih dahulu? 

Aku sendiri tak sempurna. Tutup aurat pun taklah sepenuhnya. Tapi aku cuba. Dan bila aku cuba,aku lakukan demi Allah yg Maha Esa. Orang lain mula pandang aneh, mula mengusik, mempersoal. Bila aku sampaikan hasrat untuk berpuasa sunat,aku digelakkan. Bila aku mula melabuhkan tudung, lagi aku dipersoal.So I think to myself. What have I done so wrong that they question me whenever I try to do extra ibadah like puasat sunat and even laughed at my face when I say I want to recite the Quran. Several times,no scratch that.A lot of times,I tried to get closer to Allah but all these people around me makes me believe that I am not that kind of person who does all that. Until one day, Wardah, a real close friend of mine say,

Wardah:"Syafina,hang kena lagi kuat kalau nak berubah ni.Cuba fikir,dalam hati tu pun org boleh baca ke?"
Me:"Dok"
Wardah:"So,kalau dalam hati hg kata A.bila org lain cakap jawapan hang B,jawapan hang tetap A,betui dok?"

Aku terdiam.Ni jawapan yg aku tunggu selama ni.Ni kawan yg aku tunggu selama ni.Terima kasih. So,hanya sebab orang lain yg menghakimi, adakah kita nak berhenti dari perubahan ni dan setuju bahawa mereka lg kenal siapa kita dari kita sendiri? This is a war between you and your nafs. Ini perjuangan kita sendiri. dan bak kata Gwang Soo,

"Di alam perjuangan ini tiada ketakutan.
Di alam perjuangan ini,
Hanya ada keberanian dan kasih sayang." 

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Last weekend.

Been real busy over the weekend.like I was home to sleep and right after I woke up, more programs.it was tiresome but never a regret.why?

This is what I was doing all friday long: Pertubuhan Anak-anak Yatim Jasin,Melaka.


So,this is my group.Sesusah mana pun adik-adik ni,I will never blame them,maybe I'm not a good enough fasi. But I'm definitely learning and love them sooo much that I almost adopt a brother that day.


Saturday: Kemahiran Insaniah Modul from 8 to 5.Then meeting up to 7.

Sunday: Kursus Asas Fasilitator (8-6)



What a hectic weekend.I cried, I laughed, I did almost everything but above all I've learn a lot.Not from books but from the world. Thankyou Allah,simply for everything :)