Monday, January 28, 2013

Birthday is overrated.

Last 19th January was my birthday and I decided not to make a big deal of it since it was at the end of my final exams period so everyone were so busy and occupied that I can't really get my hopes high in term of the celebration.Yeah. I even hide it from facebook because I see no point in being happy with all those expected wishes thanks to the Zukenberg's brain. So on that particular day, I was lucky enough to received some wishes from closed friends and a cake from dad. Um,it's pretty much the same compared to any other days, nothing special. So here is where my over-thinking brain cells come in action. I started to think to myself, what's exactly the point of celebrating birthdays?, are you obliged to get plenty of wishes from friends,pranks or some special outings, a glorious cake with your name on it, a party or such? and how about if you don't get any of these?why would you feel sad and down?. See what I mean? So here I've listed few situations that you and I could relate to.

A: " Shit it's 12 am, I need to send her a birthday wish right away! "

B: "You know guys,it's her birthday next week, what should we do?"

C: " *pandang jam* Mannn, I forgot her birthday.Nvm, I'm gonna pretend like I remember and wish her at  
     midnite and tell her I wanted to be the last. "

D: "*few days later* *text message received* *open* [Hey, did you wish her?] *yeap,you're fucked*"

E: "You know,we're not even close but hey happy birthday may god bless you i love you bla bla bla times infinity"

I once had a classmate in high school whom his family never celebrate his birthday,not for once for reason he won't tell me. So, we have this tradition nahh, more to like a practice that we'll buy a cake every month to celebrate our classmate who was born on that particular month. So when it's his month, we don't really do much just simple gathering in the class during prep malam with snacks and drinks and of course we sang the song to him and some others I can't remember.But he was happy that night.

The whole point of celebrating someone's birthday is to remind him/her that he/she is somewhat important and that his/her existence is cherish. Everybody knows that and I bet that's why when someone close to us forgot our birthday we get upset and feels as if we were let down. 

I remember not long ago when one of my housemate's birthday is coming, I get all excited so I planned the whole surprise thing with some help from my other housemates. We keep it a secret because that's the point of surprises,right? We bought cupcakes, eggs and even a gift. Idk, I just always have this urge to make someone feel special,remembered and love on their special day especially good and close friends. So when my birthday come, I had hopes which I shouldn't because I know I will be let down. I appreciate that they bought a cake for me just the fact that they had me drive to the shop and even borrowed my membership card and afterward still trying to hide it from me which is ridiculously impossible since I'm the driver so jyeahh. Despite the unexplained feeling I pretend like I didn't know till the clock struck twelve. I know I should be grateful that they're willing to do all that for me but despite it all, I was let down. Why? Because for me, if I really matters to them or if I am somewhat important to them they'll be willing to do more not just here's your cake,happy birthday,and we're done attitude. That lead me into thinking, no matter what I do, I'll never be good enough for anybody to appreciate me that high and I am proven to be not that significant.

On behalf of the people who never get to celebrate their close friends' birthday just to make sure they know that they matter and on behalf of people who forgot to send out birthday wishes to people who are important to them, I would like to apologize. Because me myself can't promise that I can be the perfect friend who remembers and has the ability of a fairy. Sometimes I have problems like family stuffs, money, time or distance so I failed to make you feel special and reminds you of how important you are to me. But from time to time I try to improvise, give out a redeem tickets or a privilege to forget my birthday in case I did forgot. And this year, one of my bestfriends seriously using that privilege so haha on me. 

Among the best of my birthday moments was this one time in high school. I sleep early with a heavy heart that night because I know nothing special is gonna happen. But I was awake to a group of shadow people singing the happy birthday song to me and handing me something soft in heart shape. I was surprised and that probably was the most decent birthday I've ever had. And one more during my foundation, when I actually give up on the whole idea of celebrating my birthday but the two of my sidekicks with their party spray can once again lighten up my world. I once again matter to some people. 

January 19,2013 I was at home not really feeling well, my cake melted and I have to put it back in the fridge myself and wait, cut my hair short which I regret a lot and I'm old and boyfriend-less. Thanks for all the wishes but no I didn't have a blast.

My 22nd sucks a big time.Not so happy birthday to me~ 

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Mika, please come back.

This is Mika,my favourite pet ever.
In fact, when I look into his eyes, I've never see him as a pet, I see him as a friend.My best friend. 2 nights ago, I decided to take a short nap and let him sleep in my comforter. Oh did I mention he loves being in there? Once I tuck him in there, he'll stretched his legs out and sleep. He hated his aquarium, so that's why I always take him out of it and only put him back when I'm away or when I'm about to fall asleep. That curse night, I was just petting him and let him slide back in his comforter to sleep cuz immediately after, he seemed sound asleep. That's particularly why I didn't put him in his aquarium. Over 30 minutes later, I woke up only to find that I lost him for the second time and probably I have lost him forever.

I've search the entire house, my friends even help out but nothing. No sign of him or anything,gone. He vanished just like that.As if somebody has kidnap him or something. It has been 3 dreadful days. I'm also running out of tears and what worse is I have a killer paper to sit tomorrow. Prayed to God, done solat hajat, istikharah and everything but no luck. I realized that I shouldn't be too sad about this since everything on this earth belong to Allah and I mustn't get too attached but guess I love Mika a little bit too much now. 

I'm not sure whether to lose hope or keep on hoping that he'll come back but it's been 3 days, I'm scared he won't survive. Mika, please come back T_T