Few days ago, i cried,
In front of the whole class.
Number one rule of my life is not to let anyone to ever see myself crying!
Never ever!
And not only i cried, but i did it in front of the class,with the lecturer and everyone looking and hearing attentively at me.
Tak pernah terlintas even once that i would react such way. Usually i'm the type of person who go up there talking to public like i just want to end it up quick and i don't want others to dig deeper. Just merely on the surface.
But obviously not that day.
Sebenarnya, we here terpaksa attend this 2days program of the Modul Kemahiran Insaniah. Which if you ask anyone of us, early this morning everybody would throw a boring face and tons of complaints. HAHA. So, pagi from 8.30 to 11, there was this ceramah about studies,you know that boring stuff~ yadda,yadda,yadda~
Then we're having this LDK(Latihan Dalam Kumpulan) session which i usually hate. especially when i'm in a group yang semuanya from the same class except for myself.It does feel awkward,you see.
But,nevermind.The fasi was great in a sense of humor! Really,i swear, he manage to lift up the mood, making we all laugh hard enough and knowing each other well enough.It was great.So,lepas sesi ice-breaking yang super duper fun, we are divided into groups.Well,kena buat presentation about transition from schoo to university lah.HAHAHA.but then, my group's performance was HORRIBLE but we had fun memalukan diri!Yay for that!and others punya drama and sketsa was brilliant and hell yeah,FUNNY!
Then,here comes the most interesting part of the day.
We all have to individually public speaking about ourselves. Something nice or even sad.
At first,semua macam doubt, tak tahu nak cerita about what,kan?
but then, there was this one girl named M(by me.HAHA) voluntarily started.When she talk, i can see how fine she is, but then when she told us about her mum,her family, she begun to cry.
It was heart-wrenching, my eyes are full with tear but then i warned mysef,
"Fynn,don't you dare cry!It'll be too embarassing~"
So,i tahan.Tahan.Tahan.Everyone dah burst into tears.So,the evening goes on.
One after another, everyone was like having a private counselling session.
Every little secret that we are trying to hide from the world started to be exposed.
I can say, i feel a bond there.Like everyone feels the pain and it's good to know that you are not alone facing those dugaan and having broken family and having something to prove.
Orang lain tak faham semua tu,but then when one person started to open up and orang lain pon ikut sekali.
I was veryyyy impressed.
It's rare,indeed,very, where i could see boys pun shed tears. Those ego thing just fade. For a moment,we're like family.Everyone understand each other.Sympathy, encouraging and believing. Selalunya we always complain about how unlucky we are, but i swear, if korang were in that class, you'll know orang lain ada yang suffer lebih teruk. And some, look very strong, but behind that courages faces, they fight every single breath to make a statement.It's not easy to appear strong,it's not.
You guys should know, that among us, there is this child yang parents dia tak ambil berat lansung.Nak daftar university pun,alone.Pergi mana-mana pun alone.Those yang parent divorce, and her father tak pernah once pun datang visit. Ada yang his lil sister suffered leukemia and died.He has to witness apa yang perlu dilalui oleh his sister till her last breath at our age.And some,their parents just don't even support her at all.Always telling her that she made wrong choices over and over again.
Frankly, i don't expect to hear these stories from them.Because i saw them as a very strong and always happy bunch of people but after today,i think i can see rght through them.Today i cried while telling people the biggest secret of my life and turn out, i feel i a little bit more stronger.I love you guys, thanks so much for everything.
Note that if we are alone in this, then we are along together! (:
