Saturday, July 31, 2010

My ex-boyfriend's girlfriend shit on me!

*Deep breath*

Okay,this thing is heavy.
Give me some time.


Sangat susah nak handle benda ni,dah two shocking thingies in a row yang i kena handle within yesterday and today.One thing,tak boleh bagitau korang.Dah la mulut tak reti shut shut!HAHA
but,this one thing,i baru discover like TADI and hell yeah rasa nak share. susah sebenarnya to anyone yang ter include in my life sebab semua automatically akan di-include-kan in my writings ;D

Yeah,i think satu dunia dah tahu about my so called relationship yang disastrous dulu,kan? Tak? 

Rujuk sini please ; Kebodohan Saye

So, today rasa macam i need to check this girl page.idk,i just always trust on my instinct.
I was shock at first,rasa nak marah, nak mencarut(perkara wajib);
but then,i have a second thought.
the other me yang wear that glowing white circle above my head said to me,
Get a hold of yourself,Fynn!

So, i did.
I don't know whether it's a right thing to do or what sebab normally bila people shit on me, they will never walk out alive.hurmmm...
I sent her this message;

so what'd you think?humble enough?HAHA
My friends sangat risau if i nak text orang without sarcasm because i never am able to do it.So,tell me how about this?

So what happen actually?

normally,in this kind of situation i would just run amok and kill everyone and of course, i'll boil her and make soup for the dogs...Well,fair lah,kan? there goes my dignity bhai~

i think about how much i've cause her pain,or that guy might.
So i the hope that things will get any way,
we'll se how things go.
If that girl still nak berlagak and whatsoever, then it means WAR (:

yahh,like i have time for kindergarten's game.

Friday, July 30, 2010

I wish i could be pretty enough,

So that people will notice me,
So they won't take me for granted,
So I will be treated nicely,
So I can feel important,
So at least I know i worth something,
and so i could tell you to treat people equally.
and,and so I could make no one ever feel like me.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

At the end of the day, kita semua sama saja (:

Few days ago, i cried,
In front of the whole class.
Number one rule of my life is not to let anyone to ever see myself crying!
Never ever!
And not only i cried, but i did it in front of the class,with the lecturer and everyone looking and hearing attentively at me.
Tak pernah terlintas even once that i would react such way. Usually i'm the type of person who go up there talking to public like i just want to end it up quick and i don't want others to dig deeper. Just merely on the surface.

But obviously not that day.
Sebenarnya, we here terpaksa attend this 2days program of the Modul Kemahiran Insaniah. Which if you ask anyone of us, early this morning everybody would throw a boring face and tons of complaints. HAHA. So, pagi from 8.30 to 11, there was this ceramah about studies,you know that boring stuff~ yadda,yadda,yadda~

Then we're having this LDK(Latihan Dalam Kumpulan) session which i usually hate. especially when i'm in a group yang semuanya from the same class except for myself.It does feel awkward,you see.
But,nevermind.The fasi was great in a sense of humor! Really,i swear, he manage to lift up the mood, making we all laugh hard enough and knowing each other well enough.It was great.So,lepas sesi ice-breaking yang super duper fun, we are divided into groups.Well,kena buat presentation about transition from schoo to university lah.HAHAHA.but then, my group's performance was HORRIBLE but we had fun memalukan diri!Yay for that!and others punya drama and sketsa was brilliant and hell yeah,FUNNY!

Then,here comes the most interesting part of the day.
We all have to individually public speaking about ourselves. Something nice or even sad.
At first,semua macam doubt, tak tahu nak cerita about what,kan?
but then, there was this one girl named M(by me.HAHA) voluntarily started.When she talk, i can see how fine she is, but then when she told us about her mum,her family, she begun to cry.
It was heart-wrenching, my eyes are full with tear but then i warned mysef,

"Fynn,don't you dare cry!It'll be too embarassing~"

So,i tahan.Tahan.Tahan.Everyone dah burst into tears.So,the evening goes on.
One after another, everyone was like having a private counselling session.
Every little secret that we are trying to hide from the world started to be exposed.
I can say, i feel a bond there.Like everyone feels the pain and it's good to know that you are not alone facing those dugaan and having broken family and having something to prove.
Orang lain tak faham semua tu,but then when one person started to open up and orang lain pon ikut sekali.
I was veryyyy impressed.

It's rare,indeed,very, where i could see boys pun shed tears. Those ego thing just fade. For a moment,we're like family.Everyone understand each other.Sympathy, encouraging and believing. Selalunya we always complain about how unlucky we are, but i swear, if korang were in that class, you'll know orang lain ada yang suffer lebih teruk. And some, look very strong, but behind that courages faces, they fight every single breath to make a statement.It's not easy to appear strong,it's not. 

You guys should know, that among us, there is this child yang parents dia tak ambil berat lansung.Nak daftar university pun,alone.Pergi mana-mana pun alone.Those yang parent divorce, and her father tak pernah once pun datang visit. Ada yang his lil sister suffered leukemia and died.He has to witness apa yang perlu dilalui oleh his sister till her last breath at our age.And some,their parents just don't even support her at all.Always telling her that she made wrong choices over and over again.

Frankly, i don't expect to hear these stories from them.Because i saw them as a very strong and always happy bunch of people but after today,i think i can see rght through them.Today i cried while telling people the biggest secret of my life and turn out, i feel i a little bit more stronger.I love you guys, thanks so much for everything.

Note that if we are alone in this, then we are along together! (:

Friday, July 23, 2010

Life's tumbling.

I miss my bestfriends.

Swear to God, u guys adalah bestfriend terbaek yang i have ever own.
Thanks muchos sebab korang lah 2 stupid people in the whole wide universe yang sanggup bare with my even more stupidity and perangai setan ni.HAHA

Now that i'm apart from u guys, everytime i see besties hanging out together,i feel like crying.
I wish i could have mine near me too.

Most people would ask me what's wrong if i'm in dead silence and muka masam mencuka.
Well,they still do.but u guys tak!

You help me figure things out.
You cheer me up even if i said you annoy the hell out of me.HAHA

I'm sorry if i ever took you guys for granted,
and I'm sorry that we're far away now.
Please do text me 24/7?
Sebab my life is totally empty and friends all around fake too much.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Mencarut lagi better from melucah!

I was force to cuddle.
Then i kissed!
I licked!
and I taste!

Ou,it was WILD.
the boys are on meth,i think.

GOD, i'll never eat choki-choki no more!

and, tonight i'm sure that i'm a straight.
NOT lesbo,
neither does bi!

GOD,it was too WILD.
out of hand.
please forgive us,for we had sinned.

p.s. Otak tak payah sonsang,yaw!dirty minded(PV)!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


Kiri,kiri, aku haluan kiri~

okay,dengan sukacitanya diumumkan ;

*drum roll*

I was chosen for PERKAD.
tons of grace to my dear Lord,Allah :)
I pinky blacky promise i'll do my best for H-Coy!
(did i spell it right?pffttt)

Check out another prove of me living life hell-ing!
My TUMBLR,everyone.

[kelik gambar,yaw!]

p.s. :Was it just me or everyone really does start competing about how much better their Uni is?Well,i'm a definite New Zealand! ;D

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Besok is Monday.

Life sangat hectic nowadays.
Padahal baru seminggu start kelas.Phewww...
Now, UiTM ada introduce system baru, which is KI(kemahiran insaniah).
Masuk cgpa segala, so korang boleh agak how budak-budak sini lari sana sini semata-mata nak kumpul marks for KI ni.
I praise UiTM for this, baguslah, at least graduates tak lah terbiar masa keluar nanti,
mahal sikit,lah!cewahhh~
the problem is, if KI were to be introduce a year after my batch, it will be better.

Anyhow, i joined PERKAD which is short for Pertandingan Kawad Kaki?(i think)
And, besok malam is the pemilihan.
*deep breath

i had a feeling that i won't be chosen up.
SAD, isn't it?
that was fine sebab at least we the underdogs-to-be akan dapat marks for activity,
but help me figure out ways to be walking out of the padang kawad without shame!
Shit lah, shit!
Aku tahu, even maruah aku totally lesap right after the night i wore that cursed belang shirt,(i'll tell you if i got in)
still, lepas kena reject beramai-ramai, matter'll get worst!

Plus, i had to go to evening class alone.
Bodoh la sial!Mana besties aku weh!perlu ke korang tinggal aku and leave to UKM!sobs
Balik sorang,jalan sorang.
People must think i'm pathetic.

Orang lain jalan sorang tak pernah kisah pon,Fynn!

Aku bukan orang lain la bongek.
Aku ada maruah.


Ada banyak lagi benda dalam dunia ni selain bercinta!

Aku tak faham sebenarnya, kenapa budak-budak (as in teenagers) nowadays macam dah takde benda lain nak fikir. Okayy, actually aku tahu kot kenapa. And i did say kot sebab every person lain-lain and macam-macam alasan tak munasabah yang ada.pfftttt....

As for me,masa masuk U ni adalah very crucial, yup, sort of macam facing SPM dulu lah. and i did ruin mine very well and tak perlulah repeat benda sama for this time around kan? Fynn, kalau ayat tak sarcasm tak boleh kah???


Hello,hello, aku totally tak tuju kat anyone yaw! baik yang couple or tak. Jauh menyimpang dah tu from apa yang aku nak tulis. Anyway, i'm pretty sure most of us,  pffttt...tah, batak-batak yang banyak bunyi yang tengah lalu belakang aku now kasi hilang mood and idea untuk tulis.shizznitt.

Senang cakap, i'm not ready and will not be in this mean time untuk benda alah ini okayyy?
So, ayat karang macam mana sekalipun, girls lain meleleh cair, aku dengar macam ayat baku.
Takde feel.
Ada faham?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


Okayy,KESATRIA ni sort of uniform body as in school lah tapi UITM's version.LOL.laugh it out, we're look like a bunch of schools kiddos and i really really looks like a hip-ho wannabe!OMG, did i mention ada commander marah because i did so?

Muka aku bulat macam hell,no needs to bother please.
KESATRIA is one thing that i love being scolded at.
Brass band,so long lah!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Not again...

I hate the fact that i LOVEEE to see cute guys but always fall for no-so-good-looking guys.Hati Fynn, tahan ye,tahan!

Hey,how's life?

Greetings all!Lama rasanya dah stop posting. Well, what do you expect, university life is hectic,even tak semua subjects lecturers masuk kelas but there are tons of benda alah to settle.HAHA. Let me list out lah! I want to burden u guys too!
  • Completing and submitting PTPTN application (which took me months!)
  • Completing my student file (which full of ridiculous demands)
  • Applying [JPA and Bank Rakyat]'s scholarship (which come to think of it = worthless effort)
  • Registering courses for this semester (i hate my new student ID!screw numbers)
  • Paying my college's fees, in total of RM420! (why give me a room for two!GOD)
  • Sign this,sign that,go here,go there,shit this,fuck that~~~
So how?Can i compete for the President's seat yet?HAHA.Well,i guess semua orang tahu how i hate to be here dulu kan?LOL. I did type dulu for reasons. I don't know, time to time, i'm starting to like it here. My classmates are crazayyy!OMG,i'm sooooo loving them! You know, it's indeed very pleasant to have jokers around stressful days :) So far, i'm just sticking close to Hajar (my ex roommate) and getting to know Aiman (she made me call her Iman and i'm like the only one!) better. Others? Not bad lah,i can joke and be myself around them but i wish we could be more natural and in sync at times.No awkward moments and faking laughter anymore.HAHA.i'm kantoi-ing myself like stupid,now!Hushhush! And,,, i really really dislike people who don't remember my name!Daaa,like it's that hard?F to I to N! and to the A for lecturers.lmao~

Roomate?Ou, she's fine.We had a talk just now, with a friend of hers.Budak baru datang Shah Alam. I'm not surprise bila mereka complaint things and sighing over expenses and other snob and bitch-liked students. Well, buat apa nak berlagak sombong, kita semua sama saja,kan?Can you believe it? Fynn really sounds optimist and this is like D most impossible thing most likely to happen in universe!HAHA. exaggerating much?What happen?
  1. I can finally be myself around people! yes, the sick-and-weird me.
  2. I can HUHA all dayyyy long~
  3. Offline life suddenly feels good.i know,right!
  4. I had a bunch of my high school's clique around here!!!
  5. i had my cousin staying on top floor ^^
  6. My timetable is working with me!EFFICIENTLY <3
  7. Muka-muka yang *&^# dah tak kelihatan around faculty!HEAVEN on earth.
  8. I saw lots lots lots of cute guys!suka!suka!sukaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
  9. For some reason, i had better social life.rotfl
Seven's enough.Oh!oh! Here, I also took Japanese! Sebenarnya banyak konflik these kiddos masa nak pilih third language that day. Mandarin lah, Arab, France, but very few yang nak Japanese.HAHA. why? Mostly like 2/3 nak Mandarin,kononnya might be functional for work,yadda yadda yadda~  So, why i took the path less travel by?
  1. Note that I live to be different.
  2. I already had some basic in Japanese back then in high school.*credits to Ooi sensei!
  3. Budak tak ramai dalam kelas, MUCH BETTER.
  4. I already ada 4 law subjects yang need strong reading and memorization, plus that Tamadun Islam and Asia, why burden my brain while i already have some Japanese in my hard disk?
  5. Based on my 3 years study dulu, observation and everything, apa yang we are about to learn is only for beginners, so, u really think it might be functional for work?LALALA~
  6. I have to be independent in this class since Hajar and everyone else are in Mandarin or Arab.
  7. I like my new Sensei!
  8. Ouh, i LIKE refresh button! (what the heck?)
Above all, my life is turning WILD again. and I'm thankful and glad.Let just hope it'll last :)

p.s. i HATE this new Kemahiran Insaniah thingy!troublesome.

Monday, July 5, 2010

I need to revise,

  1. On how to appear strong
  2. On how to be happy
  3. On how to cope and accept
  4. On how to be okay
  5. On how to survive 
  6. GOD,i'll fail.
I want to cry but tears won't solve anything. I'm a sad clown. Is there anything more pathetic than that?

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Degree,literally means GOODBYE to life.

This is no joke.
This morning i had this session with the Dean, Lecturers and those MPPs from law faculty. How was it?

*deep breath*

OMG! Everyone was like trying to scare the hell out of us!
With the THS and everything.
Talking about how bumpy the journey's going to be,
telling us DIRECTLY in the face how tough is it,
that only few,REAL few would succeed to take it to next stage,
which is LLB.

Three years,guys.three damn years i have to forgone all the 'lagho' thingy for the sake of the unseen yet blurry future....Thanks to the seniors for such a great session, though it was a bit boring but hey! i LOVEEEE the joking side of you guys!haha.(p.s. i know u guys read this!HAHA)

Well,we all need some humors to go along. ;D

i was shaking through out the day not only because of the north-pole-made-of-air conditioner which situated directly above my head, but the hidden message which is supposed to be hidden but everyone was going around whispering it out loud!'s a wake up call,i shall say,kan? Muka masing-masing sumpah kecut! Yayyy us!That shows, courage okayyy :)

i can just hope that this is not only a flash in a pan caue i need this like real badddd!
Oh!oh! Did i mention i got a room of 2 people?Spooky isn't it?
Class arrangement worked with me. I guess lucky me for being special case,kan?HAHAHA
and yes, kemahiran insaniah thingy! I HATE being an experiment!!!

Say, WELCOME to Merbok's students and those abang tentera too!
Gambatte for BLS!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Tutorial Beautify Facebook Dengan Google Chrome :)

As promised, this time i akan ajar macam mana nak lawakan and gebukan Facebook you olls!HAHA
lebih kurang macam ni!

Mari lihat one last time betapa plain nye Facebook biasa;

You guys dah ada Google Chrome kan?So, let's start!

Step #1

Actually benda ni dipanggil 'Extension'. Korang boleh buat macam-macam lagi kat sini. Tengok bahagian atas sebelah kanan. ada nampak button macam Spanar jaya tak? Yes, scroll down and pilih Extensions. Tapi sebab aku baik hati,tak nak susahkan korang, just kelik gambar di bawah!

[Gambar 1]

Step #2

So,korang akan sampai pada page seperti di bawah :

then,terus click Install. And follow segala direction untuk install :)

Step #3

Automatically, lepas di-install, Facebook korang akan ada background rumput/grass tu. So, nak tukar ke? Okay, korang pergi ke button SEPANA tu lagi and click extension(Rujuk Gambar 1).And sampai lah ke page ini.

And,nampak tak Beautify Facebook Cr Edit? Tekan button 'OPTION' di bawahnya.

Step #4

Then,korang akan nampak page ni. So,dia ada banyak choices. Whether nak 'Standard View', which is macam biasa. or 'Gradient', you guys boleh pilih 2 warna. or 'Solid', satu warna and 'Image' untuk jadikan gambar sebagai background. Okay, now sila pilih nak upload gambar tadi ke private atau public di mana semua orang boleh tengok.So,i suggest,pilih 'Private Upload' untuk privasi lah ye~

Step # 5
If korang nak gunakan gambar pilihan hati u olls, sila pilih 'Upload'.Ada faham?Then silalah dengan suka hati pilih gambar yang berkenan.Lalala~

p.s. Gambar lucah dan ganas akan di delete,yaw!Padan muka kau,PV!

Step #6

  1. Bila gambar sudah siap di upload, korang copy url dalam kotak di bawah tuh,okay? Copy! 
  2. and then, pergi ke box atasnya and padamkan segala bala url dalam kotak tuh sampai kosong.Boleh ikut tak? And, terus paste url yang kat bawah tadi and tekan 'Save'.

Dah Siap! Cepat pergi serbu Facebook korang!Cuba lah,cuba taw!

Pesanan Penaja:
If you like this tutorial,sila kelik button LIKE okayyy!and, sebarang pertanyaan,komen-komen apa pun, sila buat di blog ini SAHAJA. Janganlah kat YM,FB ke tak pasal-pasal, bukan apa...Penattt je ada ruangan comment,kan?And, if nak buat tutorial balik or share ke apa, sila lah jangan lupa untuk link ke blog ini ya!Terima kasih daun keladi!