I should have done this post a year ago when I first got to know you,when I was madly in love with you. Now, things are messy, I can't undo the feeling I had for you, I can't undo bad choices I've made, I can't erase all the memories I had and I can't move forward either. Remember that one time I didn't pick up your calls anymore?I ignored your texts but you never ask why. That was me trying to put everything off between us because finally I have fallen for you.Fallen for a guy who keeps toying with my feeling, making me think that finally here come some dude who thinks I'm pretty enough,I'm fun enough,despite my friends telling me how unworthy of me to be loved. Despite it all, you gave me hope, you had me let my guard off, got me doing everything just to make sure that you'll see I'll make a great girlfriend for you. I even went out late at night to help you so you'd know I'll be there during hard times. But after a while, I think to myself,where is this going? I'd like to assume that you like me since you've ask my phone number and even told me that you're flirting with me. But I guess you don't like me enough to even ask me on a date. The problem is, you keeps on texting me everyday, calling me most nights and that made me feel uneasy. I'm one old fashioned girl,so according to what we were doing back then, normal friends just don't do that. I tried all the silly trick us girls are familiar with like trying to make you jealous, trying to make you feel like if you don't get me fast enough some other man would and the result is negative. According to logic, I should have flew away by then but you keep pulling me back with your sweet words and vague promises. So one day, I come up with a conclusion that you just want to keep me around until you find someone better, or I'm just an option for you or you wanted to make me your girl but I'm just not pretty enough or that I didn't get the approval from your friends. Whatever it is, I know it's time to leave since I can't do anything without you popping into my mind and got me sad. I was depressed,even more depressed during the phrase when I ignored your calls,texts and all. But I manage to get through. Like for a while, I manage to forget you and all the feelings I had for you. I could talk to you like we're friends. Like all the feelings I had for you is gone and I was happy. Until few weeks ago,you decided to call me again. then we talked and I fall in love with you again. You made promises like taking me to your home, wanting to see me again, saying I'm pretty and everything. How could my heart tell you no?How? All I wanted to hear is 'Fynn,I like you and I want you to be mine'. That is all but nothing. You keep me guessing again, you make me confused all over again. I'm sorry but this is not a relationship I want. You should be fine without me considering the amount of girls you're flirting with on twitter and facebook,you'll be alright not bothering me anymore,right? I shut you off once and you came back now I really really want you to go.and please I'm begging you don't ever come back again.
Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street
Faster than the wind
Passionate as sin, ended so suddenly
Loving him is like trying to change your mind
Once you’re already flying through the free fall
Like the colors in autumn
So bright just before they lose it all