i wish i was a bird...

*warning :i'll be using this throughout this session to cheer myself up*

this long hols made me think a lot.i've thought about everything.and,this evening when i was done pre-registering for my part 2, i came into a thinking. do i really wanna do this? i meant,should i pursue law for my degree?i don't know...but,it doesn't feels right.this is not it.it just not. i mean,i like reading law but i don't think i'm gonna make through...

just looking at those subjects which i had to take for next sem and those people who surround me,make me think that i might be on the wrong path.i'm not sure whether LAW is what i really want.not anymore.as much as i like to be in the legislature community, it just feels like i won't be able to fit in.the harder i try to adapt,the awkwardness became clearer.God,i'm lost!yes,it will be easy for u to say.go for your dream lah,so ever...well,ur not the who have to choose whether to go for your heart,your mum or your logics.

ouh i wish i was a bird~

Top 10 reasons kenapa aku MASIH menjanda!

Har-low.hopefully tajok kali nih cukup hawtt kot?super thanks to my lame semester break and friends who keep on wondering WHY.i dont know why,but i seems to shine like a celeb around my fellas since graduation(high school).its sucks to be a drama queen,though~whatever.wey...STOP spreading news already,buleyh?tahu je korang i was playing my ex la...turning bi laa...what else?pelik taw!ok,sebab aku dah boleh accept such a popularity without reasons nih,i decided to go with the flow.here,i'm revealing the top 10 reasons of why i'm still single~

*drum roll*

Reason # 10 :: Orang cakap, "Fynn,you are too CHOOSY!"

on my defence :sebab i want the best for me and bukan lelaki longkang yang anggap aku sim kad prepaid.boleh ada banyak dan tukar-tukar.

Dulu, masa aku kerja part time, there was this one guy,a cleaner to be exact, stalking on me!siap warning aku sebab tak layan dye!SICKO~that surely is CREEPY!and,u still blame me for being choosy?how about,lepas tuh, konon ader mamat sales-man kat situ datang kat aku & meluahkan segala isi hati, perut dan perasaan dia kat aku.GILA!aku choosy bersebab,and aku ader how-u-

wanna-be-my-boy list oke?

1-berIMAN.tak alem pon takpe.asal tak spoiled!

2-must be pandai drpd aku,at least, AMBITIOUS!

3-LOOKS,number 2.but,kemas sudey cukop~

4-kekayaan.MESTI!budi bahasa.harta tuh,boleyh jugak^^

5-FAITHFUL.well-described.

Reason #9 :: too DREAMY~

on my defences : planning.yeah,thats the words!

yes...aku nak TOP;Big Bang,u have a problem with that??!

Reason #8 :: My relationship won't last lahhh!

Seriously,WHY??! setiap kali bila aku start sayang pada certain boy tuh, sooner or later, i'll found out yang he's cheating on me.or else,the boyfie akan bertukar menjadi sangat tak matang!bertukar menjadi orang lain.bodoh.lelaki memang tak matured.believe it or not,my

longest relationship hanya bertahan less than six damn month.GREAT.now you are talking to me about getting new one,huhhh?

Reason #7 :: I'm waiting for Mr.Right to pops out~

Aku malas nak pegi agency cari jodoh macam korang.malas nak berkenal-kenalan nih. bercampur gaul lagilah... Flirt? bosan lahhh... let's wait and see,shall we?percaya,jodoh dah tertulis di Luh Mahfuz tuh...oke,kawan-kawan?

Reason #6 :: There's something wrong with FYNNA.

haha.no,this is not ORPHAN.there's something wrong with me,there truly is.mungkin a bit paranoid and skeptic?terhadap lelaki?i say,why not...aku dah tengok dan rasa sendiri macam mana insan bernama lelaki tu merosakkan diri aku,kawan-kawan aku,family aku dan masa depan aku.susah la weyyy aku nak percayakan lelaki lagi~

and,,,penampilan kot?yelah...aku kan dah maken gemokkk.tak cute macam dulu lagi...dah tak boleh jadi diri aku lagi sekarang.haila~haila~ ader aku kesah?lol

Reason #5 :: MOST boys are being asshole :)

poligami di mana-mana.setiap hari aku dengar pompan kena tipu dengan boyfriends...lelaki-lelaki kat dunia nih sedang menambah koleksi aweks-aweks mereka.semua nak kahwen lagi satu,semua nak girlfriend ramai...GREAT!these days,boys don't fall for your personality anymore. they are just looking at your tits and your butt,deary :)

guys,don't blame girls for looking up at your abs and ass!woohoot!

Reason #4 :: I'm turning bisexual! WOW~

no further inquiry,please...joking!joking! no lah.i think having girlfriends is wayyy wayyy wayyyy better than having a bf.well,BFF is always better,kan?i have lots of girlfriends to do what a bf should be doing to me.except for whispering love words into my ears.wait,why not? *smirk*

Reason #3 :: kau DESPERATE, aku TIDAK!

buat masa ni,my heart is totally E.M.P.T.Y. em,u can say that,i'm a HEARTLESS womannn.. ;D

except for TOP la,of course.serious,jelesh tgk happy couple sumer,tp takkan nak main redah je grab somebody and pretend to be happy,kan?maybe,maser buat degree nanti :P

Reason #2 :: HATI aku tengah di renovate semula.

i was hurt so bad in the past and are terrified of being hurt again.So,im afraid of falling in love again.

Reason #1 :: Jatuh cinta boleh tunggu c:

study dulu laa weyyy. sekarang,maser tak sesuai...biar at least aku nampak arah tuju hidop nih dulu...bagi dapat dean list ker aper...exception kepada mana-mana billionaire tuh,besok pown takpe

p/s:lepas nih,jgn tnyer lg dah.no more gossips,please!

aku bukan ANGELIC yg pathetic

Hey...i mean it,hey!this is the countless time where i'm starring at this blank box where i should type some boring essays for u guys.gosh,i lose my words AGAIN.hate it when this happens.bullshit.i've been here for dayssss!!!ouh,excuse my words,alaaa...whats wrong with taik lembu,kan?hoho.in case you are wondering,i've done experimenting and,i think being nice is not that nice anyway~oke,oke...leave it.

tajok mcm besh kan?haha.admit it! ;D truth is,tajok tuh lansong takde kaitan dgn entry kali nih.haha...so aku nk blog psl aper this time?I DON'T KNOW!!!

*absurd*

fine lah!disebabkan i'm missing my besties muchos and tak dapat pegi small gathering yang my besties lansong takde tuh plus lack of ideas...shall i introduce you.....*drum roll*

my top bFF! :)

mesti dorg bangge t...

#1 NoorSuhaila Bt Hat aka Sue

Well,cmne aku bleyh terbaek dgn daknih pon,aku x brape nk igt lah~ *sorry* what i know, Sue

and me dlu,satu kelas mase form 1.heee...Kelas 1Jati. i think,the moment we really get close to

each other pon, since aku start migrate dorm when i was in form 3.hihik...aku slalu lepak dorm dye,and maybe sbb tuh we're getting close.days by days,aku start sense yang we both share lots in common like; we both HATE BOYS. bold that.and,disebabkan dye nih manje,aku dah anggap dye mcm adek senirik da pon...haha.it feels good to be around her sbb i feel very protective of her.and,she have been a great shoulder for me too.thanks darl :)

#2 Rehan aka Tuesday

kenape Tuesday?biarlah hanya isnin sampai ahad je yang tahu.lol~she's a petite little girl tapi pandai.mulot tuh,kalau nagging...tuhan je yg taw..and,me as along of the so-called family nih

yg slalu kena...name gelaran : Google SMSTSP. so,nak info ape-ape psl hal skolah dulu ktorg carik dye jeh..haha..dye nih freshie...and sgt dibenci oleh aku dolu-d

olu..haha!idk,tapi aku rase satu kepale jeh ngan dwarf aku sorg neh...plg besh kalau gossip!anddd,strong supporter too!dan,sgt sentimental. ;P

#3 NurAfizatul Azni Mihad aka Blusher

tingat jeh budak neh,one word = JIWANG. FYI,dye ader collection novels cintun penoh satu almari besauu..hihi..kotg rpt,sbb i lend my phone dulu kt dyer so that dye boleyh keep in touch dgn scandals dye sumer..since then,ktorg cm rpt...lepas tuh pulak,tym form 4&5 dye ikot aku migrate sekali dkt motel c2-UR tuh...dah tido sekali en,takkan xrpt...*winks* aku suker dye sbb aku boleh usik dye sesuka hatiii!weeeee....farid bitter,sila jgn mrh :) aku sygg dye most probably dye sgt memahami cus we've been thru byk same situations..kan

?and,dear...im still waiting for 'the novel of my life' written by u tuh,oke?

#4 Nuura Najiha Mohamad aka my private consellor

Jiha!aku sorg jeh yg pggl Jiha.org panggl Nuura.ngan pakwe unx,ryte?aku kire pakwe spare,oke?!dyer adlh kwn plg memahami aku.hihik...thanks ouh!budak nih mcm magnet,no matter jow much i try to repel,msh ader sides ktorg akn attract blk...she's such a good advisor.idk,but whenever i need advise like ASAP,i'll go find her.and,dye jeh yg know how to pursue me,make me think twice or in simple,she know what best for me ^^

#5 Nur Syazwani Ghazali aka Bun

Budak paling nakal pernah aku jumpe.hihik.aku suker daknih sbb dye sgt lembut dan sedap dipeluk,dicubit dan digigit!haha~padan mukaaa!suka buli aku sgt!ini teman aku tym buat jahat.tym gossip dan tym makan buadak aka junior!hahaha...sgt heppy kwn dgn Buntal(pingu ajar aku!) sbb junior sumer takot dgn dye!plus,dye slalu jadi aim seniors...and,suarenya yang

nyaringgg dan sifat romantis beliau.haha~Sebab unx,satu batch pggl aku 'tajam' but,aku suka org pggl 'miaww'!aku paling suka bila kami dapat buat bising time Amirah n etc tgh blaja dlm klas ^_~

# 6 Nur Azzah Che Ali aka Wednesday

aku lupa lah dorg panggil unx pe ;D aku suka Azzah yg selambe yayai...aku takot nak pandang Azzah yang baru bgn titow.tapi aku suka Azzah yg pandai melindungi aku..hihik...unx pon teman tocher aku jugak!!!wahaha...same-same lah kiter jd senior yg digeruni...azzah nih jenis ganas sket,n i like it!dye sgt tough,bagi aku...Azzah,igt g tym emo maser form 4 dulu?hehek....tym tu laa kot kter cm rpt sket..melalui mslh yang hampir samer...walaupun agk ganas,Azzh actually emotional jugak,oke?heee n_n

# 7 Noor Izzah aka Pingu

ini sweetheart batch aku...haha.budak nih,nampak je senyap...skali ckp...perghhh...sgt pedasss ouh!Sabah mari...aku kenal dye tym form2.haha...satu kelas tym dye baru pindah masok dulu....one more thing,dye nih,genius FREAK.seriously!asyek bacer komik Arena je kije hari-hari...tak penah study kot.result gempaq jehh...Pingu adalah karyawan yang paling kreative but yet humble kat SYTRA dlu.kan?suker menyakiti org dlm bentuk fizikal whether dgn kuku dyer or cakaran dye...aku pernah kena kot!kalau merajok,sgt susah maw dipujok...and,don't mess with her belongings especially super DIARY!makanan= priority! sgt manje,mcm budak-budak.drama queen mcm aku jugak.lakonan terbaek,tym tipu Mdm Anis dulu!haha...aku syg kaw bahhh ;D

sekian sajer....see?my high school was fun,isn't it?better than now.*sigh*

p/s:to my friends yg aku tak mention dlm nih,jgn kecik ati,oke?maybe sbb korg tak rpt sgt ngan aku or maybe ader sekuel kepade entri nih...afterall,we're good friends,aren't we? :)

I must be sleeping...

If u had met me in kindergarten, u'll know how ambitious i was back then.maybe u don't even gonna believe that i grew up to be the person who i am.tipulah kalau aku cakap,i'm not regretting at all.i just wish to be someone better.someone i used to know from my past.

now,looking back at chances in life that i had missed.God,it's a lot.How did i just let them slipped right out of my hands?why can't i see?there's nobody else to blame but me.but,what done is done.there's no way i could ever turn back time.

i'm dying to go to UK.i just wish i could~

I used to dream of getting scholarships and studying abroad,but guess thats not going to happen. everything is ruined.i have lost hopes and i lost the faith in myself.sebab nih aku benci kapel!sial~i've ruined my future from my single mistake.impian aku...God,give me strength...

I am hoping that there are still chances await for me out there.i just need to be there!i need to make a statement. for the sake of my future and my past, my parents and of course,myself.

i watch this everytime i'm down.tak kesahlah brape kali tgk pown, it make me like getting right back up!

p/s:Gambatte fynn!UK!UK!UK!

Hijabbed say what?

semalam,i dig in this one video yang i had seen dulu.kinda interesting.u should watch.especially muslim ladies.would u spend less than 10 minutes on this?€

Jangan pakai semata-mata formaliti!

Entri kali nih,specially dedicated to myself and anyone yang terasa diri tuh wanita yang beragama Islam...at first,takut jugak nak post entri nih,cus based on what i've seen,sape yg buat entri camnih akan dikecam habis habisan.but,lets just say aku dah tak tahan sgt dah nih.mungkin sbb curiousity aku nih tinggi,i just feel like i have to understand everything.termasoklah alasan yang xmasok akal~

Seriously,aku nak taw.aper perasaan korang biler tgk kawan korang yg elok pakai tudung kat kelas,kat luar freehair?muka comel jeh pakai tudung,pastuh kat Friendster,Myspace,Facebook,Tweeter ke aper,kepala dah bogel!kalau kita amek gamba freehair, tak berdosa ke kalau orang tgk?yeke?sebab tuh eh,korg buat

camtuh?one more thing.kenape korg still pakai tudung pegi kelas kalau kat luar tak?sorry,aku tak berani nak tnya korang,i'm afraid that i might hurts your feeling.aku ingat perbuatan tuh berdosa,tapi entahlah...takkan korang tak tahu kan...klu korg tahu,mesti korg takkan buat.memandangkan korang buat,aku anggap korg assume x salah lah sumer tuh,kan?

Korang nak tahu?Mase mula-mula masok uitm dulu,aku dengan roomates rasa lega sgt...masing-masing bersyukur,sebab ktorg masing-masing walaupun taklah kuat mana iman,semua bertudung.then,i came into a thinking...kenapa majoriti orang ader bad impression pada pompan yg freehair nih?i mean,kenape mesti ade stereotyping? bukannya org x bertudung tuh,jahat semuanya...ader yg baru balek Mekah lagi tuh.tgk lah artis2 malaysia.i leave that for u to think about it~

Lagi satu,aku bersyukurlah budak pompan klas aku semua bertudung di kelas.Alhamdulillah. Tapi,setiap kali balik bilik,aku asyik dgr roomates aku citer psl dorg punyer classmates yg freehair.dorg ckp,dorg takot ter-effect dgn minah tuh sumer.kat kelas sopan je bertudung, walau baju ketat nak mampos ker,kain belah ker,still ader niat nak pkai tudung.kat luar?perghhh...serious rambut dorg lawa!So,aku srh laa roomate aku nih tanye,kenape kat kelas bertudung kat luar freehair?laser tak mulot aku?no lah...aku just curious.

"Saya dah biasa mase sekolah dulu pakai tudung.Saya pakai tudung kat kelas sebab nak respect ilmu"

Bagus niat dye.respecting the knowledge.Kat luar kelas,tade formal education,so no need to respect anything,then no need utk pkai tdg lah,kan?am i right?ok.lesson #1 for today.roomate aku marah kalau aku kutok alasan daknih.dye ckp,"ok lah tuh,at least dye respect.siket2 dulu,nnt baru pkai full."org respek agama kot?klu asas dah slh wey,aku tak taw nak ckp aper. I'm not yet a religious lawyer neither an alim.

Another case is where some students hanya pakai tudung pada hari jumaat.nih,tak yah cakap kenapa,i can guess.nak respek hari jumaat,kan???very well.siap pkai baju kurung lagi.alahaiii...isnin,selasa,rabu,khamis,sabtu n ahad tak yah respek.orang xpegi sembahyang jumaat hari tu.em,kiamat pon bukan hari tuh jugak,kan?ape lagi...orang cakap,budak freehair nih,tak bertudung sbb nampak tak lawa,lelaki tak nak flirt.OMG!aku tgk dorg tuh sumer masing-masing cantik dan lawa je semua.kalau pakai tudung lagi lawa daripada aku kot!haha...entahlah...

walaupun aku perempuan.honestly,ader beza kalau aku pandang girls freehair dengan yang bertudung labuh semua.sejuk je mate aku tgk,rase selamat,rase sebak pon ader.aku bila lagi?i keeps on asking the same Q to myself dah lamer dah.ader niat tuh,tp aper pulak nnt tba2 brubah.mungkin nanti.suatu hari nanti,pasti.tangguh la Fynn...tangguh,bagus sgt lah tuh...

BTW cikEPAL ader buat entri psl perempuan tak bertudung nih,Niesah pown ader jugak,kot? sadly,ader org komen,"suka hati dorglah.hal dorg"nak kate bodoh kasar sgt kot...takkan tak tahu tanggungjawab seorg muslim?amar makruf,nahi munkar~mmg la sng ckp,benci je dgn hati...solution.yang tuh selemah-lemah iman.bukan option korg untk pilih nk iman tggi ke,sdrhana or low.ko igt game ke aper?itu maksudnya iman korg tuh lemah,sbb takot akn benda lain,takot nak laksanakan perintah Allah.Oleh itu,aku try mencegah dengan kata-kata.walaupun benda nih bukan dlm bentuk lisan.

p/s: semoga kita semua mendapat hidayah untuk berubah ke arah sesuatu yang lebih baik.aminn.

Stop hurting yourself,girlfriends!

Greetings.okay,at first i was gonna go for "Love is a Lie" as the tittle.but then,i realize how subjective the 4 letters word are and decided to use the above tittle instead.Lately, most of my girlfriends keeps on bugging me(in a good way,of course) about their so-called love stories.i'm sorry, it's not that i hate being a listener to my friends but let just say,i heard enough.Truthfully,every stories that every single of u had told me are mostly likely to have the same storyline. please,girls,for your own sake,this time THINK deeply, rationally.LOVE from a man.Is that what your life is about?

"Seorang perempuan punyai hati yang lembut,mudah dipengaruhi dan juga disakiti.Hati seorang perempuan sangat mudah menyayangi dan sukar untuk melupakan"

i believe that everyone of u know this perfectly well.so why go on being like this?i hated that the fact most of us are so easily being cheated and used.but what make me sad is how easy a girl would give in.simply trust and love random boys out there who is hardly reliable!common girls...

if ur going to tell me that not all boys are bad,well don't.first,i heard that like a thousand times.and,surprisingly,i heard that from boys whom had histories.second,exactly,how many of the 'tak semua lelaki mcm tu' colonies are currently available?and,tell me how many had u met?

Nak jugak kapel?entahlah.im tired of telling u bout the dalil,hukum and so ever.aku dgn gembiranya telling others that couple is haram in Islam but what did i get as replies?ignorance,ketidaksetujuan and people start judging me.nice!exactly what i need.so,xpe lah if u don't even trust in that statement, think about life. kalau tak de boyfriend tuh, awkward ker? yelah,i understand,in the midst of where everyone is happily having their so-called spouse,naluri tuh sure ader utk find yourself one,kan?nak texting all day long,bergayut kt phone,having someone admiring u n etc...undoubtly tempting,i suppose?tapi,can u handle the heartbreak when eventually u found out that the guy is not really what u think he is?can't u still focus on your study?on your life?*sigh*

"Habes,ko nak aku jadi lesbo?"no girl.nanti nabi xmengaku umat,tanah x terima.bagi aku, loving or liking someone is much different from officially having a relationship with someone.perasaan tuh tak salah.klu x,tuhan takkan cipta kasih-sayang.but,learn how to control it.don't let it control u,u are the one who ought to control your feeling. the one who decide everything.what's going to happen next,itu urusan Tuhan,kan? have faith.banyak lagi benda selain bercinta ni...some of u berkapel sbb lack of love from families.i know how it feels,but the rest?sorry,i couldn't reach u.tp,kasih sayang tuh universal.loves from boys is one of choices u have.kasih sayang kawan-kawan?i believe they are more worth it.&&,stop being a slave to emotions,desire and lust.

i also have this one person in my mind.i mean,though i like him a lot,i keep on telling myself,that this is not yet time.plus,i'm certain that he's the kind of guy who's gonna love me truely. or maybe,i'll never have a chance with him at all.but,tak pelah.life is a long journey,u'll never know who else will you meet.

i'm not dragging u guys into the old fashioned and single life of mine,but im just concern and trying to be a friend here.don't let your heart defy logics.aku tak suruh kaw single sampai mati laaa!kahwin tuh sunnah,kan?harus,klu dah cukup syarat.just wait a little bit longer.future!masa depan,penting,yunk.but,klu korg degil jugak,aku cakp sumer slh,suka hatilah.i've done my part. i say what i saw.frankly,in these 2 months,i've seen more than 5 loving couples who end up not very well.i've seen the girls'suffers.n,u might forgot,i've been there too.but,if ever he hurts u and need shoulder to cry to,im available.but,know that i can never help u turn back time...

I'm a VAMPIRE!no...a zombie,maybe?

WTH?am i going insane?or influenced by movies,maybe?BUKANLAH!yes,ader la kot siket.bu that's not it!okay,i shall stop using the exclaimation mark already. sgt annoying la,Fynn!ok.have u ever had sleepless night?well,if yes,u'll reach me.cus, i've been having your normal+ordinary sleepless night for almost 2 dreadful years! guess,mine is not that normal laa kot? people keeps telling me that i'm having imsomnia..then i was like,WHAT??!"go see a doctor laa"

sorry?

NO WAY!!!he'll kill me!then,get away just like that.NO WAY,man!

idk just when this so called disease attacked me but i finally realize that i only sleep at most,4 hours a day.OMG!i know~ && that's why i'm feeling weak most of the time.of course i don't look pale!i wear make-up!haha.nevermind. let it be.i love staying up!plus,i'll get lucky when time in needs like during the examination,kan?so,cheers.so,mlm2 tak boleh tido,what are u doing?LOTS of things my dear.i try to vary them so that i won't get bored easily. My current activity i

s editing my pics into monsters' look.haha.i'm kinda enjoying it.&& of course, i'll let u see them :)

they said this appearance suit me better.*sigh*

i called this a book cover of upcoming twilight vers. Malay ;D