Sunday, February 17, 2013

Step up our game.

Hello people, how's it hanging yo?May peace be upon you ;) *tiru gaya anwaq hadi*

So,here's my post result ritual. I like to do this you know, it's like my personal evaluation on my performance for previous semester and at the same time,patting myself or maybe some others on the back. Okay, so truth be told, before my result was out I kind of tell myself that if my result still have no improvement, bad as usual I would reconsider law school. I'm sure a lot of law students could relate to this. Yelah, stay up all night long even sometimes tak tidur semata nak salin balik apa yg dalam text book into our own notes, ulang alik ke library sampai pagi buta, even nak keluar lepak dengan kawan pun susah tapi tengok result exam, sama je teruk macam selalu. At some point, we start to think is it me? Law ni memang bukan untuk aku ke sebab no matter how much I tried it ain't working. And for me, it started since semester 3. So, when my cgpa dropped down alley during semester 4, I said to myself "I'm gonna work my ass off, let go of everything that weighing me down and be selfish. I'll sacrifice like I never did before and if my result still the same,I'll quit law school." 

It took every courage in me to open the email sent by uitm that 15 February night. Menggeletar tangan toksah habaq la weh. First thing, terus pandang bahagian kanan sekali. LULUS semua,Alhamdulillah. Next up is pointer, masa tu memang teringat satu ayat yg kerap Allah ulang dalam surah Ar Rahman, "Maka nikmat Allah yang manakah kamu dustakan.". Alhamdulillah Allah bantu *nangis*

I didn't get dean list anyway. But it's a close call but doesn't matter, pointer never really matters to me. You can't never measure someone's effort, rezeki or intelligence based on pointers. My point is, there's a lot of improvement in my result. Almost 0.1 away from my dream. Tak reti nak gambarkan rasa bersyukur tu macam mana,sungguh. Nampak betapa luasnya kuasa Allah tu, rasa malu sangat dengan diri sendir sebab pernah meragui janji yang Maha Esa. 

To those who are like me,remember what I said? Never give up. As what Madam Nazida once said to my friend, "Hard work always pays". My tips, if you want success you need to act like you want it. If you think you've work hard enough,you don't. Before this semester, that is all what I've been thinking of. I've work hard enough, what's wrong, why it didn't works lah segala blaming fate and all. Turns out I really don't work hard enough. I think I've revised well but I only study hard during study week. Do some extra revision guys, not only during study week, it will help,trust me. Secondly, look up at your dean list friends. Be close to them, try to follow their way of life. Not only study style, lifestyle. Then take from them yang suit you, and improvise. Then, extra activities or social life. Adjust them to fix your capabilities. Me myself, I'm weak in my study and I can't really focus on different things at the same time. I've try everything I want, so last semester I set my mind up to focus only on my study. I left sclc(my club) and it left big impact on my life afterwards, people talks but you gotta do what you gotta do. Also, it might be the best if you can put relationship on pause too. I got rid of my weak spot the hard way not long ago. Berat jugak nak lepas this one rare guy who got my attention and my heart go but I can't afford that.Not now. And remember, it's not only about memorizing and excel the paper. Learn to love what you're studying. I got a solid A for that. Last but not least, the priority is, let's always return to Islam, keep Allah close to you. Afterall Allah is the one who answer our prayer,didn't He? and never doubt His generousity towards His slave. 

Some might wonder why I took this whole study thing so seriously. The answer is, my mum. You could only imagine what she been through to raise her kids, I want my success to be her's. Praise be to Allah, I made it this far I'm not gonna back down now. 

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Who am I.

I believed religion teach me to treat other people nicely lillahita'ala. For the sake of Allah, not for the sake of people are going to do the same to you too. Remember that story about our beloved Prophet Muhammad pbuh where his neighbor an old lady who hated him so much? She hated Rasulullah and even dump her trashes at his door once and that I believed is only one of numerous bad things she ever done to him. Then the old lady fall sick. In this case, if we had someone who gets on our nerves every now and then watching him/her at their weakest point is some sort of delight isn't it? Like "Take that madafakaa". Ok wait, maybe like "See, that is what happen when you're messing with me,old lady". Deny it as much as you want but that's us. We love to see other people get their part. But not our Prophet. When the old lady fall sick he cook for her. He made her soup and even visit her and pray so she'd get better. That's how we roll in Islam,people. 

Ethics, adat or whatever you call it, teach us to be good to others so they'd be good to us. But what happen when we are so nice to them but they throw brick back at us? What happen when you treat a person so nicely but he/she end up disregarding all your kindness like "Yo b, you ain't do nothing for me,I'm the one who do everything for me". and what happen if you treat every one of your friends with vvip treatment but you end up getting i don't know, economic class ticket? 

22 years on this planet I went through almost every situations I've mentioned above. Whenever it happens, I feel sad,hurt and disappointed. I mean, don't you? We abide the social code, we try to be mr nice all the time and we even make sacrifices but when it's your turn to receive you just sit there like a potato. You feel like you deserve better. And for some like me, we'll feel like we're not enough. Like people don't think you're good enough, you don't have that personality to make people stick around or even be fond of you and I started to think "If you help someone who's in trouble he/she will remember you, when they're in trouble again.".

I was contemplating on how to react. Should I stop being nice or should I stop to care and be selfish because at least I don't have to expect people to appreciate me? or Should I remind myself of how the Prophet handled this and remember that everything that I long for is not exactly my purpose as a muslim? 

Katakanlah: sesungguhnya sembahyangku, ibadatku, hidupku dan matiku hanyalah untuk Allah, Tuhan semesta alam. Tiada sekutu bagiNya; dan demikian itulah yang diperintahkan kepadaku dan aku adalah orang yang pertama-tama menyerahkan diri (kepada Allah)”. (QS. Al-An’aam: 162-163).

Barangsiapa menghendaki kehidupan sekarang (duniawi), maka Kami segerakan baginya di dunia itu apa yang kami kehendaki bagi orang yang kami kehendaki dan Kami tentukan baginya neraka jahannam; ia akan memasukinya dalam keadaan tercela dan terusir. Dan barangsiapa yang menghendaki kehidupan akhirat dan berusaha ke arah itu dengan sungguh-sungguh sedang ia adalah mukmin, maka mereka itu adalah orang-orang yang usahanya dibalasi dengan baik.” (QS. Al-Israa’: 18-19)

Because I believed being evil is easy. Being nice is a a challenge. Someone so high like Rasulullah could be nice to people who hated him and even tried to kill him, who are we? Who am I? Let's from now onward pursue sincerity lillahitaala and doesn't matter if people don't see what you're willing to do for them because Allah see. 

Hasbunallah wa ni'mal wakil :')

Monday, February 4, 2013

Honk at king Kong for me!

It always had been my dream to travel around the world but I guess timing, willing partner(s) and money are by biggest constraints. However, Alhamdulillah one tiny opportunity popped out not long ago and I've said yes already. So, I've just receive the itinerary today. And yeah, I will be going to Hong Kong this September,InsyaAllah. My dream place to visit is definitely Europe but this is a start though. May everything goes well. Amin :)

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Gay-est cake I ever make.

I know it's supposed to be coated but I ran out of cream cheese and icing sugar so...
My first rainbow cake.I like the texture tough.
Scratched that out of my to do list now :)