Monday, September 14, 2009

I've learnt my lessons,YOU?

Anyway,hey!mostly,i've seen lots of bloggers suda mule buat conclusion of their first sem n etc.well,mine?it's gonna have to wait.i'll write after the final.well,sure its gonna be LONG!haha.ok,lets move on~

the truth is,i've been thinking lately of what im going to write.should i continuously write spiteful words of the unsatisfied heart of mine or should i bare with it.i've been thinking also,will things gonna keeps getting better.or worst?idk.its hard for me to even think about it.and,like i said.no one will even care if im in such a misery.prove= everyone starting to avoid me these recent days.but,thats ok.i know that'll happen.so,now im better.laughing and pretending all those problems had solves,they're around.ONCE AGAIN.for what,idk.well,its not important anyways.

thats one thing.another thing is that,people keep telling me write short.what the heck???i didn't even pay rents to own this site.instead its free and its totally mine.suka hati laa aku maw tulis panjang ka,pendek ka.well, yes.its bored.so,why read?ouh!maybe for u to annoy me and constantly messing with my life?do what ever u want.i-will-not-give-
a-damn!maybe i got few followers not like some of my friends who got plenty.followers who keep
give out comments and so ever.true,but again,come on!this is not a junk or a cheap blog yang
asyik nak puji-pujian je(im so not pointing at any blogger whom i know.).i write to
express.well,that is me.u got problem with that?
haha.u can lie to me.i know,those people read my blog.same goes to u.prove?habes,yg out of a sudden kwn2 yg aku lamer xkontek pon tetibe tawu jeh sumer psl recent life aku,cmne?
yg everytime i post new entries,there will be phone call or mesages asking for details...when i ask,how did u find out???"aku bace blog hang."see?

n,about my so called agony.at first,i thought i wil keep on smpan dendam and treat them justifyly equal.haha,apekah?then i go on thinking.i should not fight fire with fire.well,they will forget us when they are happy.but when they're sad,they'll come back to
u.so,takpe lah kawan-kawan,up to u.im a sincere friend.i don't love hoping for something in return.i don't care for u just for u to notice me.and,i dont pat u on ur back for u to remember me.im just an ordinary friend who is hoping to make real friends.so,let it be lah.if i were to be the kind of friend who u'll be needing in times of need,let it be.maybe its the best for me.

apepun,thanx sbb ajr aku jadi tabah :)
and,to my besties of Syed Putra.i miss all u.aku syg korg.i miss living with u guys.frankly,korg lah kwn plg nobel penah aku jumpe.kat sinih,baru aku atwu erti persahabatn yg sebanar.sorry if i ever take u guys fer granted.hopefuly aku dpt get out og this uitm asap n be with u guys di UIA or UKM or UM nnt ;p

p/s : kawan sytra,aku sgt sayanggg korg :)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

As If You Would Care...

I know perfectly that u won't.ecspecially when i am nobody but someone u happened to know through this lame blog.so?what made me write this?noone will give a damn.idk.maybe i like the feeling of thinking that someone,somewhere,somehow will read this and wouls understand and make the day for me.which i perfectly know that is so IMPOSSIBLE.well,i live in fantasy world,and i don't care about what might happen cus i always live in the hope that good thing will happen.so,no wonder i gets depressed most of the time.

So,nursyafinamunirah(i hate it when i have to expose my real name in order to make it sound that way!)...what is wrong,this time?EVERYTHING!its hard to tell u what is wrong when nothing seems right.no,u dont understand.u never did.u don't know how was it like to keep on hoping when u know what will happen next.nope,i won't apologize for being too open or for posting such an annoying post.i won't!this is me.sometimes.yes,u can tell that im still hoping for someone to care about what i'm going through but,i can't stop lying to myself.

"Relax lar,fynn.kenape emo sgt nih?"HAHA.told ya,u will never understand.not when u are not the one who keep on being in the wrong place all the time.the one who tend to make the wrong decisions in her life,the one who keep telling herself that everything will be ok and eventually proven wrong.u just don't know...truth be told,i hate to be me!i hate to stuck here,in this uitm.maybe i should go for the maktab offer back then.(i said it all,there u go~)i just wanna end this foundation programme ASAP and get the hell outta here.one more sem to go!

Fynn,every cloud has a silver lining.em,can i laugh?i don't think so.i don't think the situation here will be better.ouh,yes.if u were to say your life here is blissful or whatever,u can stop telling me that.i'm the only one who hate it here.yes,i know.folks,if ur intention is to tell me that im the black sheep and the weird one,CONGRATULATION!u did it!even the first sem is about to end,i don't think im able to fit in here.and i will never will.i never really feel like the real me when i'm here.i'm tired!TIRED!tired of faking a smile.tired of being nice and tired of being unheard.and,you are talking about justice,huh?equality among all...'naff with that.what i know is that, im surrounded by people whom i only knew them by the names.roomates?they are nice.but as u might knew,i never really have a good flow with any of mine for my entire life.its the truth.classmate?they are fun,but only in the fun time.not that im saying they are selfish or anything like that.its just,i don't feel like i can have them when im in this misery.no,i dont.i just dont feel the togetherness.yeah,sure.but not all.thanks to some of my fellow classmates who lately brighten up my days.and seriously,thank u for allow me to show the genuie smile which i've hide for such a long time.

so,please?when can i leave?i just need to find a place where i can be myself AGAIN.God,only Him know how much i miss Wanie(sape nak pgl aku miaww lagi?),Nuura(u r my shoulder!thanx),Azzah(tlg jerit org utk aku,champ..),Sue(no one wud ever see me thru lyk u did!),Rehan(my fav pelangi ;p),Azni(budak yg suker blush n memahami),geng ur(aku maw lepak dorm korg lg!!!)...as if u would care,right?haha

p/s: i really hate it here.