Yesterday was a fairytale.

The subject matter is the purse aka wallet. and this is the picture of me and my friend, Aina getting all high and excited after finding it :)

So today, I kinda dropped my wallet in a taxi which I have not know any idea of, the number or anything else but the name and some descriptions of the driver. If you're in my situation what do you do?? I know, FREAK OUT. I was going to since I got everything in my wallet like ic,licenses, bank card, uhmmm this friday night bus ticket~ And for like 10 minutes, I stand right beside the place where the taxi drop us like a total bimbo who don't know what to do.

Then, exactly when the brain start functioning, I took this one dreadful cab(kenari) to go to Sek 2,to the taxi's port for a hunt. Tell you what, this Kenari pak cik was so mean all the way there. He was nagging all the way of how mad he is sebab when he pick me up, he sort of lose all the passenger for that morning. And then he went on and on about me not going to ever find the wallet and how impossible it is that I only stand a 30% chance. He also kind of telling me to give up hope and indirectly told me how stupid I am not to take the plat number and everything. At one point, I was going to ask him to pull over and just walk myself out but I don't know where I got such patience that day. Seriously,out of the days.Fione!

At Sek 2, all the taxi drivers were gathering around me asking, investigating, you know~ Seems like there's no hope, but then when I mention the name of the driver, they were like "Oh,we know that guy" then this one blessed pak cik call him, but sadly the guy wasn't even out yet. Quite frustrated, we thanked them and walk away to bus stop, waiting for bus, maybe heading to pkns, to another taxi spot or maybe later, police station. Then,suddenly this blessed pak cik ask me to approach him and told me he knew the guy but just don't have his number. So,after getting my number he went on search. 

Just when we're about to hop in the bus, he called.

"Awak ada kat mana? datang balik kat sek 2, dah jumpa beg duit awak"

And yes, I feel like run fast to hug him but, ahem! So jyeah, I'm so grateful that such human being is still exist. and I did gave him some reward just like the old essay I used to write about this man losing his wallet and this kid found it and return it safely and getting rewarded. Yes,just like that. Except that, i never feel so touch like this before,indeed.

So,what I learn today? There will be friends who will help you all the way through and there will be some who just act like as if nothing's wrong. For that, thank you so much, Aina and Majdah and this one budak asasi! Second, the will always be demons but angel is still flying in between. Thank you Pak cik terbaik beyond infinity (thats the name I save in my phone book), I really wish you well and dimurahkan rezeki,AMIN. to the other pak cik, OMG you're so handsome :3

Oh, not to forget, the pak cik kenari, thank you sebab still you willing to pick me up despites everything else and hey,

IN YOUR FACE! I found it, didn't I?

Btw, I sort of try this new look. AND, I don't quite sure if it looks okay enough on me like the superb Maria Elena, but I do get some compliment though~ One even said I wear it like Yuna.sigh. I'm still proud though I know, they probably meant cantik by referring to the shawl.HAHA. but this one guy said I look serabut. Which, I was expecting from a guy,yes. And this is why I always say that girls never dress up for boys,never. So,what'd you think? Did I pull it off? Did I nail it? or didn't I? Spill,please?

p.s. this is my kind of fairytale.not those kind with prince charming and beautiful princess,no.

Mama gone mad.

Just had a FB conversation with my mum and I wish I could tape it and show you guys. LOL.

Atas tu,ayat motif minta handbag baru :DD

okai.ini suspicious!baru cakap tadi betapa I need car now. SERIOUSLY wish I could get it by this sem!hehe reaction I pandai cover tak?LOL

Oh Lord. Happy 21st Anniversary Mamita!

and oh, reminding ayah besok :3

Told ya she's gone mad.

Kahwin?

-_____________-''

Lord is testing me :|

Okay, not going to lie, life had been shitty recently.

Why is it everyone is so eager to become judges nowadays? You know what's funny? The fact that those human beings love to judge like a FJ but loathe and probably too paranoid about law students. Hey now, isn't that a bit much contradict?

I don't usually like calling people names but hell, my housemates are a bunch of stupid people.

Mannn, you guys are the one who isolated yourself from us, never trying to talk to us, avoiding, pointing fingers, being skeptical, calling a torture session as meeting(?), pasting A4 papers of instructions that can be directly said to our faces, mengutuk as if I'm a bimbo, and now what, mengadu to landlord of us being law student and snobbish?

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK YOU FUCKING THINKING,FUCKED BITCHES??

So,here's another why you don't want to get me mad. Moving out is for sure on top of the very top of the list now yes.The only things that keep me from is all the moving stuffs, making wars with a bunch of losers, and had to deal with this one particular person.

Hey, kalau budak kos lain boleh stereotype us, macam tu sekali, now I think I have all the right in the world to stereotype budak business and math. Sorry to say guys, numbers and us,will never works. I won't just run away and let you go, "Yay, we vanished them law student", no i won't. I will stay LIKE A BOSS and mess out your life.

Lingeries hunt ended with a cake!

Sekarang memang zaman orang kahwin awal or what? Lepas dapat invitation satu-satu from kawan-kawan, I FELT OLD! like a nenek. because I don't find 20 is the right age for marriage. Well,maybe i'm too ambitious but seriously, marriage at 20?? 3 tahun kahwin then cerai. Oh Lord, I'm sorry I hope you guys yang nak kahwin tak affected by this. So whatever, excited punya pasal nak pergi wedding kawan for the first time, my besties plan lah nak beli wedding gift. Note that, 

I HAVE THE MOST PERVERT FRIENDS IN THE WORLD.

and I was suggesting pinggan mangkuk.

I think I would get myself one like this NANTI.

This one is a total E-U. like, SLUT~

So,lepas tahan malu segala pergi bayar dekat cashier, 'that thing' is in grab. Tunggu 2/2 nanti boleh bagi to Mas,the bride!

 The highlight of the day is of course,non other, ME. muahahahaha. Thank you Wednesday,my little dwarf friend for my fav cake. My third birthday cake,actually.

I am blessed.

Nothings personal.

Ini lagu kasi dengar,khas untuk kau yang terasa.

You know guys, when you say something offensive or something I don't like,

outside, I'll be like

but really,inside I'm like

Come on man.You can't go around hurt peoples' feeling regardless of how perfect you are. I know you might think, "Ahhh...this girl don't even reach my standard, so come, pandang slack dekat dia" Some people will just be like,

but hell yeah, not me. I don't understand why some people always think that they are the best,like they know it all.Even if they read this,they'll be like "What the fuck Fynn?". Hey,people is not that hard to read lah. It is such an eye sore to see my friends go around me saying 

"Fynn, kau tak reti masak,you're a loser"

"Seriously kau tak reti tu? tak reti ni? Seriously?"

"Kau tu gemuk,lain lah"

"Gila boros kau weh,dah habis duit biasiswa kau kerjakan"

"Kenapa kau tak study weh?"

"Kau ni asyik gelak je,asyik enjoy, tak fikir masa depan ke?"

"What! Kau tak kenal dia?where have you been?"

"Why kau tak join tu,ni,segala?"

"Asyik bangun lambat je,apa nak jadi?"

I mean seriously, korang kawan dengan aku sebab apa sebenarnya? No wonder it's always hard nak nampak muka sekor-sekor masa aku susah. Cuba masa tengah happy,tak da kawan, time tension, asal asyik bersepah je kissing my ass.WHY,sunshine?

Ye,kau lah terbaik, kau lah miss/mister perfect, kau lah hebat. Aku loser, pemalas, tak reti masak, cgpa tak 4 rata macam korang. Yelah, life is all about cgpa kan? About reti masak and not about rajin kemas, barang tak bersepah or keep down to earth. 

You know what? Nevermind. In the end, you will judge me anyway, so whatever. At least, do me favor. Don't shows up in front of my face everytime you're in for some fun. I honestly pity you. Why so afraid of having fun? What is it always has to be about, I must work my ass off and stick with people of my standard or better so that I can drive luxurious cars, own a mansion and make 5 digits payroll in the future? And even if you don't like me that much, stop insulting me as if i don't have feelings.

I'm fine with it sometimes. I just put on my straight face, curse and write a post for you,yes I would. BUT, what if I've been so fucking depressed lately? What if I'm very fragile inside that I can't stop thinking about what you said to me. What if I can't stop thinking about things that people say about me? Then I will be very low and think of myself of dumbass and there's no use for me to live anymore and I kill myself. Then you'll have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life. Lucky, I will just fucking hate you and making this special entry for you but not everyones like me. So,stop doing this to other people. It's not worth it. I myself knows what I'm lacking of.Yes, I do. You don't have to add on the pain by saying it out loud, I'm not stupid. I gained nothing from what you have given me except I now know the world is not all beautiful and fair.

I know,this post will be ignore. Nothing would ever change.I know,I know.

Resurgam

It has been 3 days since the visit to Sekolah Henry Gurney. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. I know, some people will think that it is weird for me to have this obsession to visit this school. One of my friends even ask,

HAHA.So, the answer is yes. One of my wishlist ever since my mum told me that the school is build on island with big sharks swimming all around it. Eventhough it turns out that the actual school is not on island but in Malacca instead, that does not stop me at all. Not at all. It's just I always have a thing to 'the underdogs' and such~ Simple says, curiosity! Like, does those children eat people,kill people,rape, or does they even look like a human being? I mean, they were all kids,you know what I mean??

So, ini lah rupa sekolahnya from luar. Oh, peringatan, gambar is very limited since no cameras or anything yang boleh record tak dibenarkan bawa masuk,ye kawan-kawan. Okay, masa first nampak bangunan ni, memang teruja habis! Turun bas je, ini kerja kitorang.

Orang lain sibuk angkat barang,kitorang berangan menang hamper sebentar.LOL

Lepas dengar briefing segala, adrenaline memang dah pumping tahap apa dah. Nervous,takut, semua ada. Bila tengok tahap pencapaian akademik, I can say budak-budak situ taklah seteruk yang orang ramai selalu anggap. I mean, SPM 5A's? Budak sekolah biasa pun susah kot,nak dapat. Sukan, koko ? Okay, diorang ni semua human being juga, bukan Hanibal Lecter,no! Masih terngiang-ngiang kata-kata Inspektor tu;

"yang perempuan tolong hati-hati. Kat dalam tu ada pesalah seks..."

"jangan bagi contact number korang kalau budak-budak ni minta!"

Lepas breakfast yang super yummy, kitorang ramai-ramai gerak ke Dewan Parameswara, di mana 30 something penghuni lelaki plus 14 orang penghuni perempuan tengah menunggu. Masa tu, gementar tak perlu nak cakaplah,kan? Bila kitorang masuk je dalam dewan dari belakang, diorang terus bangun. Ada juga beberapa orang Inspektor dan pegawai penjara yang ada. Masa nak duduk dekat kerusi yang tersusun di sebelah budak budak ni, my hand memang totally menggeletar, seram sejuk semua ada. Bayangkan, semua budak lelaki, pakai kemeja dan seluar putih, kepala semuanya botak. Seram tak seram? Tapi, nak tak nak memang kena stay. Siapa suruh memandai sangat nak pergi,kan?

Lepas perkenalkan diri kitorang, fasi-fasi ni, aktiviti first pagi tu is senaman yang agak kelakar lah. Mula-mula muka masing-masing memang macam tak nak buat pun. Fasi pun jauh je duduk from diorang. Tapi lama kelamaan, diorang finally macam dah open. Agak lama juga lah, since lepas buat group, cheers baru diorang nak semangat.  

Sesi : Ice breaking

Masa ni, kitorang was allowed utk pilih our own group. So, I gor grip on this 5 girls group named 'Sempoi je'. I know the name is lame,but budak-budak~

Nama saya, *****, form 4, 20 tahun. Kak Fynn umur berapa?

Dang! Masa ni sumpah nak jerit, weyyy same je umur kita,tak perlu panggil kakak!HAHAHA. Umur kirog terpaksa dirahsiakan and perlu appear years older than them. So hey, Kak Fynn is 25.NICE.

Sesi: Cita-citaku

Agak ironic dan terkejut bila dengar diorang masing-masing nak jadi polis, askar and etc. Funny, they said it's impossible sebab diorang pendek. And to that, I'm SPEECHLESS! memang diorang girls nampak macam darjah 5-6 bukan tingkatan dah! And ada this chinese girl, bila ktorg tanya nanti besar nak jadi apa?

"Saya nak jaga mak saya"

and yet AGAIN aku speechless. Why did you get in here for,anyway?!

Sesi: Jambatan besi

This is like the fun-est game ever played that day! Like seriously, memang semua gelak macam haram lagi kot! Some took it seriously. And for my group,what do you expect? Aku ajar budfak-budak ni buat jambatan paling kelakar dalam dunia!hahahha

"Kak Fynn, muka merah dah!"

Sesi senaman 'Otomen'

Senaman ni memang bapak memalukan. Sebab terpaksa,aku buat kalau tak HAHAHAAHrapan lah. Tengah encore, tetiba budak Chinese tadi datang kat aku,

"Alaaa...akak nak balik dah..."

Mau tak berkolam mata aku weh!jangan risau guys, aku terrer control macho. Time balik, ada sesi bersalam and ramai jugaklah budak-budak perempuan yang menangis. Inspektor tu cakap, ni first time lah benda macam ni jadi,so agak kembang pukoq juga kami masing-masing :)

Aku ingat lagi, sorang budak ni punya speech,

"Kami nak ucap terima kasih sangat kpd abang-abang dan kakak-kakak fasi sebab sudi buat program macam ni dan tak aggap kami macam orang jahat. Terima kasih sebab bagi kami semangat lepas keluar nanti. Dan sebab hari ni memang best!"

Okay,ayat tu memang aku karang sendiri.Bapak la nak ingat,tapi point dia adalah sikit sebanyak. Terharu kami semua,tak terkata.Terkedu. Ada seorang budak group aku ni, siap kasi aku kata-kata semangat lagi,

'Orang yang kuat bukan lah orang yang selalu menang, tetapi seorang yang bisa bangkit selepas dia jatuh' 

Simple says, kitorang melawat Henry Gurney untuk tolong mereka, ajar mereka, tunjuk mana hala tuju tapi honestly aku rasa, mereka yang banyak mengajar kami semua.

Resurgam(moto Sekolah Henry Gurney) : I WILL RISE

Best Thaipusam ever!

Hello ane, thambi, apa buat dekat rumah ini hari? Oh well, me on the other hand have like the best day ever!

Noooo, I don't go to any perarakan with those people wearing crazy stuff on their face with loud music and beautiful colours, no. Today, dengan some of guys and girls from SCLC, I went to extreme park in Sek 13 to do some outdoors like wall climbing,flying fox and archery. Truth be told, I wanna go there go to release whatever dark energy left in me since this whole week had been VERY VERY moronic with this whole copycat girl and hey, besok I takde kelas yaw! So, bila dapat text je pasal this activity, memang angkut semua lah nak join, so here are some dare devil super headstrong cool people yang ada tadi :

I must say those people yang deny aku punya invitation memang totally RUGI. alah, setakat takut tinggi, malas keluar duit, lalala~ 

Well yes, lepas masuk group #2, wall climbing is the first stop. This is my second time kot! Excited na mati!!!

I managed ke petak yang ke-3 at wall yang susah!Mannnnn,I'm so proud of my self today :3 Next time naik, I swear I'm going to finish sampai atas. Too bad tadi tangan menggeletar semacam. Nampak sangat lama tak senaman!

Then, my favourite of all, musang terbang! well, of course with tali :D

me ready nak berlepas; "Abang,tak pegang tali boleh tak?"

Jauh kot habaq mai! This is too my second time. So,naik memang buat dekkk je. First time dulu ye,takut. Masa berlepas aku buat gaya titanic, "I'm the king of the world" siot! Sebab ada long way to go, tengah jalan I end up macam ni. Auhhh,rugi lah tak baring ke kuak lentang ke~

Last game,for sure archery. GILA BAPAK TAK SUKA game ni. Why? sebab it needs focus. sama macam bowling. demm,aku tak pernah pin pin putih hipokrit tu jatuh pun masa bola aku lalu dalam longkang sebelah mereka,okai! get it? Tah macam mana, kena jugak seret main benda alah ni since aku orang last. Bayar punya pasal, try je. And guess what? 

AKU SHOOT KENA LA SIOT!TEMPAT SECOND FROM CENTER TU,LAGI!

okay, calm your ass,Fynn.

Akak yang jaga tu cakap; "Gaya dah ade ni"

Aku tak faham gambar ni,lepas rotate pun still macam siaa.

 *kembang pungkoq*

And yang paling out of the black&red,

Cake paling sedap after choc indulgence and blackforest!mannn

Aku tersangatlah tak gheti buat muka terharu,kan? Cake kedua untuk hari jadi ke 20,awwww. Okay,speech macam artis dah kasi tadi. Seriously, kami berempat sangat happy and terharu even expression macam tak.hehe

lepas tuh, paintball session. Bukan semua main,aku pun tak perhaps lain kali. Overall, hari ni seriously memang heaven. Rasa macam finally dapat lepas dari buku, cases and classes! Thanks semua! Definitely akan jadi pro SCLC for EVER :3

ni semua rockers suka suki hari ini yay!

Nah,muka aku puas hati :3

Twenty, today.

Dear Fynn,

Happy bornday. Do not grow up and stay a freak. Don't be so hard on yourself, but do always reach beyond the infinite. Know that, in everything you do, I will always got your back. And I really love you :)

Yours truly.

Two times ten.

I've decided not to acknowledge 19 January since I was nineteen.

Ironic?maybe.

Why?

I just don't see the point of celebrating.

What's there to be happy about?

I'm not even sure if I'm happy.

I don't even know why it doesn't feels as it was 10 years ago.

And I personally don't find having 588 peoples write on my facebook wall once in a year is rather fascinating.

I really think birthday is an excuse.  

If they care enough for me to wish me well,

they have like 365 days a year.

I'm such a bitter person,I know.

but I don't bite the wishers, I thank them anyhow.

Well,at least the politeness is still around nowadays, right, people?

DEAL WITH IT

p.s. Fynn,your such an ass.