SPM!5 years studies,does it worth it?

...my SPMresult

pheww...!FINALLY!everything wasn't a secret no more...this morning,i sampai skewl at about 10.3o...then,teachers said "result kamu semua keluar pukul 11,tunggu sat!"...duhhh...saspen maken uppp^^...tym tuh,im wif [sue].[tyah]+[nuura]...&&,suddenly,[azni] called me...dorg ajak g kantin...dey ol sumer tgh gather kat kantin...tym turun tangge tuh,&& yup she's there to leads us to d grup.waseyhhh.i mmg totally forgot yg my [ex] will be coming too..yea,his skewl too,i noe.[ummu athirah] ,ku mmg x igt AT ALL!urgghh..then,ke-happy-an jumper bFF, ter-stuck cz i SAW him!damn![spoiled] mornink.hows him,huh?em,wut can i say..[i didnt see any regret fer me to dump him^^].yeah!i made d right choice..maybe my 'taste bud' did not function properly by the end of last year...[yesss!i am MEAN].continue..lps chit-chating sumer,ader la diz one announcement said yg result suda bleyh ambik.OMG!so,me wif nuura went sraight up to meeting rum,fer the result.bkn YAKIN boleyh daa...mawu LARI very the lajuuu...&& after,skip-skip-skip-skip-skip...my mum yg first tgk my result...i noe, TEROKKKK!i can see yg her expression change within a second!by the tym,i felt lyk crying...my heart outt...bt,the tears are all dried out...i was so DOWN!down && down...ustazah yg bg paper result pown was in shocked jugak..me as well.my mum was like...huhhh...help me...im helpless...i've [BROKE] my mum's heart...my dad's...MINE...i've FAILED!out of target...mumun,from d very beginning suda shed tears..me?i was like *smile...inside???im not sure fer how long i can hold it...my target?at least...[at least],over 9 subjects,i target 8...guess my OTAK wasnt so good,anyway...dat tym.i am so regret!

fer not studying!fer playing aroud!fer not paying attention in class.fer enjoying too much!fer ditching classes!fer not listening to my parents!fer not working hard ENOUGH!fer being lazy!fer being carried away!fer being in such a fuzzy relationship!fer being stupiddd!fer EVERYTHING!!!

bt,seems lyk,regret is worthless now.crying is useless.what is done,was DONE.i cant turn back time...bt,my mum...hows she???i dont think she can accept it...her expectation on me was damn HIGH!

"im sorry mama...along mintak maaf,i've done everything i could.true,i left with no excuses.what i got is what i've been struggling all this years or maybe NOT.diz is the result of my horrible attitude.my perangai yang undescribale.[[forgive me]].fer letting u down.fer not being such a great example fer adek2.fer not making u proud.i noe,i was MALAS lyk hell.&&, yess.im STUPId..bodohh..STUPId.bodohh..its jz i hope u can accept what i've been putting fer all diz while..i've worked.maybe the effort wasnt enough.i wish i can turn back time,&& stadi smpai saket pown I DON'T MIND.bt,its too little too late.bt,please..stop comparing me with [daeng-10a1]...[kak tiha-8a]..or whoever else.blame me,i dont mind.bt,have a lil symphaty on me.i cant promise anything,mama..sumhow,i need u to trust me on being org yg SUCCESS.i will try.no matter what.its not YET time fer giving up.or fer full stop.its not yet time.."

now,i was so ashame too meet people.cz,im from science school,SBP,they thought i could do better.to simply pass with flying colours all the time.hey,i am NOT perfect.&&,sayer bkn budak pandai...tidak segenius enstein.tidak sebijak saidina Ali..the matter of fact,i did tried..i TRIED...please,stop judging me.its not dat i register in science school cz i was guaranteed to get all a's in those subjects!hey..its not like that,people......

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&& here's the reveal...they're HORRIBLE.dont say [ok larr tu] to me.i noe,KO!dont lie...plz..

BAHASA MELAYU 1A

BAHASA INGGERIS 1A

MATEMATIK 1A

SEJARAH 1A

PENDIDIKAN ISLAM 1A

MATEMATIK TAMBAHAN 4B

FIZIK 3B

LUKISAN KEJURUTERAAN 2A

KIMIA 4B

over 9,i got 6a3b...[5A1+1A2] + [1B3] + [2B4]

see?dreadful!!!&& aweful.............[away]...............

i wasted my 5 years of learning...others,dont be like me!

there is still time to change it all.trust me,if i read this kind of entry back then.i wont be here writing this entry...wif cries...