Dear anati...

Dear my beloved cuzzie…

Look,I know that u’re having ur hard tym right now.&& again,one more problem cause by boys.i don’t know what is else to say cus u seem too fall fer him sooo much.it s like no matter what I advise u,&& no matter what im saying u wudn’t listen.so please,don’t get mad,read this entry first.&& I hope u can reconsider whatever u have in mind.ur one of my bestest cousins in the world!i love u,there’s nuting I wud do to ever hurt u.its just u haven’t been into the other side of it.u haven’t moving on.kau tawu kan all my probs?i told ya,every single details.about my love life yg seems like takde ending.yg seems lyk I got no luck at all.long ago,I’ve suffer a Lot,my dear.&& u noe how was I,back then.u was there with me.no one ever see me crying like that.that tym,if u were not there,I might end up to be like alya.[rest in peace my dear alya…].what im trying to say is,cant u see???love bring us sooo much trouble.yea,its not a bad thing ,I knew.bt,maybe its not yet sesuai fer us at this age.its hard to handle such a heavy heart.last tym,I was so not believe in love anymore.u know how hard I’ve been trying to play safe after being with stussy,right?bt yet,I once again made the same mistake.same situasion lyk urs.that tym,I thot I’ve finally made a right choice.fer once in my life, I feel safe.i can see light at the end.i thot he’s the one fer me.the one who would love me as hard as did.the who would heal my wound,the who would make me happy.&& so I let myself gone too far…just too far too turn back…so little tym to feel just that much…eventually,there it go again.its even worst kan..if it involving only boy,I think I can makeit.bt,who would expect your closest friend that u have put all your trust in them,willing to betray u..happy to know that ur suffer.its hard,my dear cuzzie.fer months!my life was x tentu arah..im more like a death person.yup,im alive bt im empty.my soul was missing..along the journey to be happy,some came && help,bt,I don’t think it worked out.its just no matter what,to forget everything just like that take a whole life!!!heartbroken was not that easy,gal… I don’t want u to end up being like me.please…think wise,hunnie..if he ever love u that much?wud he willing to do this to u?he’ll stand up fer u.he won’t let u go,no…dye takkan sanggup let his love one hurts.instead,he choose avoiding u…avoiding questions…give 10001 reasons!that is not love,dear.that is not sayangg.its desire!&& lust…if he have the chance to just say no,which I believe he always does,why wud he hesitate?if he love u that much,he won’t doubt.i noe,ur just love him too much.aku phm gak that u might think he’s the one fer u.i noe yg right now,he’s ur everything.ur willing to do everything…even u da change a LOT!u berubah byk because of him.bt,hey..we are 8teen!there’s more to explore…I noe,this kind of advice will never work on u.i’ve once thought so…back then..u noe,I never really thot I cud ever get over him.i don’t even know this tym wud come.back then,I always ask myself,what is wrong with me?what is it that I don’t have sampai he boleyh sygg other gal..&& in the same tym,he told me dat he love me.mmg aku dh nak giler tym tuh.byk sgt aku pk…ntahlah…maybe im not good enough,kn?im far from perfect.everything happen smpai I don’t have tym fer myself.tym fer people whu does really love me.i got carried away.i wanted to forget him,bt I cant…I tried every remedy,bt it’s a cancer..no cure..so, im living my life.hoping that he would be happy with his way of loving…I wish fer him to be happy with the girl I used to call bitch.haha.anyway,loving itself means to see ur loves one happy,kn?(:so,this is the exact thing I wanted u to do.just leave him.dump him!look,if he don’t care about ur feeling..y wud u???tade manfaat…seriously!yess,at first kau akn berat hati,mmg x sanggup nk lupe.u’ll feel lyk u’ll never gonna muv on.its the exact how I feel back then…until I met this one person,a friend,shall I say?he gave me hope,he told me is not worth loving people who don’t love u.he help me gone through it all..&& dye ader gak btaw,how to detect*ahem[yg nih I citer bler I pegi ur houz later..].&& dat pakcip yg I almost felt in love with dkt langkawi,tuh??igt?haha.the truth is gal,u hev to get hurt to muv on.let him go,means u gotta let urself hurt.bt,be brave…dare to take the risk..yess,few months of suffer is lyk forever..bt,sometimes,forever wasn’t that long.trust me..bt,don’t try to be strong…cus in the end,what strong give u?sudah larr dear,life must go on…I don’t ask u to totally forget him.do it bit by bit.u’ll make it somehow..u’ll fine someone whu love u as strong as u love him.bt,let just wait fer him to come,eyh?dulu,I never thot that I will stick to this stupid advice.bt,here it comes…kalau ader jodoh,takkan ke maner…this stupid advice larr yg help me a lot.it gimme back my faith to believe…I am me once again…&& now,byk plak boys yg dtg…trying to persue me,making promises..haha.u noe wut?now, I can just laugh && say hey, sorry.imma a lezbo!!!hillarious…its just im not easily tricked anymore.not so naïve as before..&&,fer now,just save all ur friends..yerp,some of them r cute!hoho[evil laugh]..bt,I wont make another silly mistake.it just im not that interested in boys anymore[bkn sbb aku lezbo,taw!]..its just I got lots of better thing to do..like friendship,and cuzzies…(:&& yeah,fer ur satisfactory,I’ll call him up tonyte..i hope ur okay now,smileee…^^

With love,
Ur cousin…